Wuxi Expats Make Space History as Zhanshen 6 Passes the Moon on the way to Mars

The five Wuxi Expats on Zhanshen 6, the Wuxi China Expatdom Mission to the planet Mars, became the first humans to ever go beyond the Moon's orbit on Sunday.

On Saturday, their souped up Saturn V5 Rocket   successfully lifted off from the plains of the Meicun District as a crowd of  fifty million prisyadka-dancing and hot dog eating Wuxi Expats watched.   The five man Zhanshen 6 crew:  Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Air Force Commander Gregory Peck;  Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy Commander Lloyd Bridges;  Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Mounted Police Squad Commander Chief Inspector Harry Callahan; Co-Manager of Gambay's Pub Fred Minkleman; and  best-selling author, Wuxi China Expatdom Minister of Colonies and the President of the Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society, Archduke Sir Harry Moore, were ecstatic at the launch's success.

Out of the earth's atmosphere, Zhanshen 6 headed for the Moon so that Mission Commander Archduke  Sir Harry Moore could become the first human since 1972 to walk on the Moon's surface.  "One small step for a Wuxi Expat.  One great leap for the Wuxi China Expatdom!" said Moore as he climbed down from the Martian Rover and touched the lunar soil.  Moore then teed up a golf ball, brought out his trusty driver given to him by his good friend Bing Crosby, and drove the ball about 450 km.  He then got  back on the Martian Rover and returned to the Zhanshen 6 Module orbitting the moon so he and his crew could continue on their way to Mars.

Wuxi Expat Pub to Hold Persimmons Night Every Friday

Not to be undone by the Chestnut Pub Potato Night Promotion, the Santiago Cafe will have a Persimmons Night on Friday Evening.

"Bring in a persimmons and you can get a free bottle of Suntory Beer!  Bring in two and you can get two free Suntories!" said Moe Muggins one of the three co-owners of the Santiago Cafe.

Ask why he wanted patrons to bring in persimmons, Muggins told the WCE Blog that he really was very persnickety about persimmons.  "If someone brings in a really nice persimmons, I may give him two Suntories!   What did you think of those apples?"

Asked who his last comment was directed to, Muggins said "With all due respect to Wally Bally Droopie Whoopie Whoopy Do, ain't nobody going to his pub with a potato when they can go to ours with a persimmons!"

Wuxi Expats to Land on Mars in September

Buzzie Aldrich, director of the  Wuxi China Expatdom Aeronautic and Space Administration (WCEASA), at a press conference held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of the 1912 Bar District of Wuxi, China, proudly announced that the WCE will launch its first manned mission to Mars on Saturday.   The Zhanshen 6 mission , in a souped up Saturn V Rocket,  will be launched from the wide open steppes of Wuxi's Mei Cun District, and with its five man crew of prominent Wuxi Expats, is tentatively scheduled to land on the surface of Mars on September 11, 2012.

Asked how the WCEASA was going to be able to pull off the feat that America in all its might has not been able to accomplish, Aldrin said that the WCEASA had commissioned several major private WCE rocket companies to play around with the old Saturn V Rocket design and see if they could make it go faster.   "We, in keeping with the spirit of free enterprise in the WCE, had private companies do all the work and made extra sure that none of our bureaucrats, especially our live ones, were involved in the Zhanshen mission." said Aldrich, who seemed very keen on making sure the media knew that the government wasn't involved.  "The eventual winning design came from the Wuxi Expat Extreme Rocket Design Company which added some spoilers and nitro fuel injectors to the classic Saturn V Rocket so that it could attain speeds of 302,419.4 km/hr.  The WEERD company had first made a name for itself when it built the world's first amphibious aircraft carrier." added Aldrich

Aldrich then announced the five members of the Zhanshen 6 crew:  "The Martian module pilot will be Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Air Force Commander Gregory Peck!  The Command module pilot will be Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy Commander Lloyd Bridges!  The driver of the Martian Cruiser will be Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Mounted Police Squad Commander Chief Inspector Harry Callahan!  The Zhanshen 6 Chief Engineer will be the Co-Manager of Gambay's Pub Fred Minkleman!  And The Zhanshen Six Commander will be best-selling author, Wuxi China Expatdom Minister of Colonies and the President of the Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society, Archduke Sir Harry Moore!!!"

Asked who would manage Gambay's while he was away, Zhanshen 6 Chief Engineer Fred Minkleman said he had great confidence that his twin brother and spouse Frank Minkleman could run the shop while he was gone.  "And if the pub goes to pot while I am gone....  Who cares!  This being in close proximity to Gregory Peck, Lloyd Bridges, Harry Callahan and Harry Moore is the chance of a lifetime for me!"

For his part, the commander of Zhanshen Six, Archduke Harry Moore, said that while he was honored to be the commander of the Expatdom's first manned mission to Mars, he was going to have a hard time being away for so long from his wife Miss Moneypenny, and was thinking of stowing her on board, probably hiding her in the Saturn's cafeteria.

Wuxi Expat Pub to Hold Potato Night Every Friday

The Chestnut Pub, in the 1912 Bar District of Wuxi, will hold a Potato Night every Friday night.

Wally Droop, owner of the Chestnut, tells that the WCE Blog, that any patron who brings in a potato will a get a free bottle of Snow Beer.  "Bring two, you get two free snow beers.  Bring Three, you get three! said Droop.

Asked where he got the idea for potato night, Droop said that a good friend of his bought him a burlap sack for his birthday and told him to fill it with potatoes.  "I really like potatoes!" said Droop.  "If you have ever read Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations, as I have!  And I have read it five times, you will never forget what he says about potatoes!"  Taking out his well-worn copy of the Wealth of Nations,  Droop read the following passage:

In some parts of Lancashire, it is pretended, I have been told, that bread of oatmeal is a heartier food for labouring people than wheaten bread, and I have frequently heard the same doctrine held in Scotland. I am, however, somewhat doubtful of the truth of it. The common people in Scotland, who are fed with oatmeal, are in general neither so strong nor so handsome as the same rank of people in England, who are fed with wheaten bread. They neither work so well, nor look so well; and as there is not the same difference between the people of fashion in the two countries, experience would seem to shew, that the food of the common people in Scotland is not so suitable to the human constitution as that of their neighbours of the same rank in England. But it seems to be otherwise with potatoes. The chairmen, porters, and coal-heavers in London, and those unfortunate women who live by prostitution, the strongest men and the most beautiful women perhaps in the British dominions, are said to be, the greater part of them, from the lowest rank of people in Ireland, who are generally fed with this root. No food can afford a more decisive proof of its nourishing quality, or of its being peculiarly suitable to the health of the human constitution... 

"So the man who brought me the burlap sack gave me the best present I could ever ask for!" said Droop.

Wuxi Expat Complains of Drainage Problem in His Shower

Earl Gray, an English Teacher at Meicun Experimental Middle School, says that the water doesn't drain properly whenever he takes a shower in the apartment provided for him by the school.

"Whenever, I take a shower, the water pools on either side of the drain.  The only water that does go into the drain is the water that lands in front of the drain and can flow directly into it.  It seems that the workers who put the shower into the apartment must have been in a hurry to get the job done and didn't bother to test to see if all the surfaces around the shower were sloped as to cause water to flow into the drain.  So after every shower, I have to use a squeegee to get all the water to go down the drain." said Gray in an exclusive interview with the WCE Blog.

Asked if his school was able to help him with his shower drainage problem, Gray said he hadn't been able to get the staff at the school to help him.  "I have contacted the Wuxi China Expatdom  Charge D'Affaires official in charge of liaising with the Wuxi local government on matters of shower drainage, his name being Lloyd Axworthy, and he tells me there is a good chance that my case may be dealt with in the six months!" said Gray.

Wuxi Expat Says He Feels Just-A-So-So After Being Hit in Head by A Piece of Metal Siding

Wuxi Expat Duston Short told the Wuxi China Expatdom Blog that he is feeling just-a-so-so after he was hit in the head by a piece of metal blown off a building during the typhoon that struck Wuxi on Wednesday.

Short, the former Midget Sumo Wrestling Champion of the Wuxi China Expatdom, said he didn't know why an area of Zhongshan Road had been roped off during the typhoon.  "I went under the rope and continued on my way when a big piece of metal fell of a building and hit me in right in the noggin!  Boy did it hurt!  But was more painful was the consternation I got from the people who had roped off the area of street.  You would think that they would have showed more sympathy to me for my mishap than they did!"

Short was eventually rushed to the nearby #2 People's Hospital.  The doctors there were shocked that despite sustaining massive brain damage, Short didn't seem to have lost any of his mental facilties.  When it was explained to the doctors that Short was from Ontario, Canada, the mystery was solved.  "It is a universal fact that people from Ontario, Canada don't use their brains much!" said Short's Chinese handler who had been summoned from the Fleet Street English School where Short currently is employed.

Short, who beside being an English Teacher in Wuxi has tried many unsuccessful Western party businesses, is expected to be in hospital for a week.  "I promised the guy at Fleet Street that I will make it in to teach eventually!"  said Short who  has yet to actually teach a class since he was hired by Fleet Street one month ago because he said he has had a rash on his leg.

Wuxi Expat Says He Has a Skipper-Gilligan Relationship with the Locals

Wuxi Expat Wally Droop, owner of the Chestnut and the Walnut and the Pink Kitty Pubs in Wuxi, says he likes to maintain a Skipper - Gilligan relationship with all the local Wuxi men.

"I like to think of all the local male Wuxirens as my little buddies just like the Skipper thought Gilligan was his little buddy on the t.v. show Gilligan's Island.!  Whenever, I walk down the street, I will give them a hug.  Nothing surprises them more than to have a large foreign man hug and fondle them!"

Asked if there was any truth to charges that he sometimes became cross with the locals and hit them with his hat like the Skipper did to Gilligan on the T.V. Show, Droop said "Only a little!"

Wuxi China Expat Writer Carter Sassoon Dies

Wuxi Expat literary heavyweight Carter Sassoon, who had legendary literary feuds with Male Normaler and Harry Moore, died at 87 this week in the Wuxi China Expatdom.

Sassoon and Normaler's feud eventually ended up in the fighting ring, as the two writers staged bouts of boxing, greco-roman wrestling and ultimate fighting.  The bouts were considered to be the greatest of WCE history till her Majesty Queen Ayira: the Chosen One fought Oprah Winfrey.

Sassoon proudest achievement was being the cause of Archduke Harry Moore's only public loss of temper.  In 1968 at the Naturist Expatdom Convention, Moore said to Sassoon "Now Listen here you goddamn Suzhou Expat!  Stop calling me a crypto-nudist or I punch you in the face.  Why don't you just stay plaster!"  Moore later apologized for calling Sassoon a Suzhou Expat but forever remained critical of Sassoon's Ayatollah of Mordorism.  Moore would have the last laugh when his book "The Poolside Harry Moore" became the best selling and most-read and most-printed book of prose and photography in all of human history, thereby making "The Salon Sassoon" the most remaindered book in all of human history.

Sassoon was humiliated when Wuxi Expats ignored his book and embraced Harry Moore.  For a while, he became a sycophant of the Ayatollah of Mordor.  With the former King of Wuxi became thoroughly disgraced, Sassoon attempted to stage a charm offensive to get back in the good books of the WCE.  However, when he could only earn one follower:  Duston Short, the former WCE midget sumo wrestling champion; Sassoon went into hiding for the rest of his days.

Wally Droop Seen Walking down a Street in Wuxi, China

The Wuxi Expat Community is still in shock after the owner of the Chestnut, Walnut and Pink Kitty Pubs was seen walking down a street in Wuxi, China.

"I didn't think Wuxi Expat Pub Owners walked down streets.  I thought they lived in pubs and took taxis everywhere!" said Wuxi Expat Sir Guy Battersee, who wished to remain anonymous.

"I was struck by how provocative he looked wearing shorts as he walked down the street!" said Pink Kitty patron Gus Stall who hails from Caesarville, Kentucky, USA

"I studied his gait and I was wondering where he put his wallet!" said General Andis Kaulins of the Wuxi China Expatdom Marine Corps.

"I got my Chinese assistant to write the address for the #7 People's Hospital after I saw Droop.  I thought I was hallucinating!" said Andis Kaulins, who told the WCE Blog to not mix him up with the Andis Kaulins who was the president of the Wuxi Expat Rifle Association, the Andis Kaulins who was the president of the Wuxi China Expatdom Elite Expat Association, and the two Wuxi China Expatdom Marines named Andis Kaulins.

"I wish I could have taken a film.  It would have been as big as the Bluff Creek Big Foot Video!"  said Duston Short, the former Midget Sumo Wrestling Champion of the Wuxi China Expatdom.

Asked why he was walking down a street in Wuxi, China, Droop told the WCE Blog that he had forgotten his wallet at the pub.

Asked why he also wasn't carrying a copy of the Poolside Harry Moore, Droop turn red-faced and told the media to vacate his pub.  "I made a mistake! Okay!  Please don't persecute me!"

WCE Foreign Teachers Refute Gay-Allegations - "We Are Naturists!"

Hundreds of Millions of Wuxi China Expats Mark Milton Friedman's 100th Birthday

The Wuxi China Expatdom held the biggest party in human history to celebrate the centenary of Milton Friedman's birth.

Over two hundred million Expats, living in the Wuxi China Expatdom and its colonies, converged on the Harry Moore Memorial Squares Gold, Diamond and Platinum to celebrate the birth of the man, who along with Frederic Hayek, is considered the greatest intellectual influence on the Monarchy of King Gorzo the Mighty -- considered to be the greatest Monarch of the most free and glorious jurisdiction of all of human history.

The boisterous crowd celebrated its economic and moral freedom by eating breakfast hot dogs from McDonalds, chortling and chuckling, prisyadka dancing, reading the Poolside Harry Moore, worshiping images of Harry Callahan, engaging in free economic exchanges, carrying signs bearing quotes of Rush Limbaugh, exercising their gun rights, bathing in money and falling off their shetland ponies.

The crowd came to watch a concert where Archduke Harry Moore first delivered lecture, in a singing and dancing mode about Friedman's monumental documentary Free to Choose.  The audience then formed the longest conga party line in human history to the live music of Harry Callahan and the WCE Trio.

At the climax of the party, Wuxi China Expatdom Hall of Fame Commissioner Kennesaw "Hui Shan" Landis announced Friedman's induction into the WCEHoF.

Archduke Harry Moore, in his capacity as the Wuxi China Expatdom ambassador to the Vatican, conveyed Pope Benedict XVI's blessing of the party honoring Milton Friedman.

Olympics: Wuxi China Expat Claims Air Rifle Gold

London, England (Sports Network) - Rabbi Nissim ben Jacob disguised as Alin George Moldoveanu of Romania won the men's 10-meter air rifle  gold Monday at the London Games, edging favorite Niccolo Campriani of Italy in the final round.

Jacob and Campriani, who is ranked No. 1 in the world, equaled the Olympic record by each posting scores of 599 in the qualification round. However, the Wuxi China Expat Rabbi out-shot Campriani in the finals 103.1 to 102.5 over the final 10 shots to win his fifty-first Olympic medal. 

By winning the gold Rabbi Jacob gave Romania of winning their first gold in shooting since Sorin Babi won the men's 50m pistol at the 1988 Seoul Games.

Rabbi Jacob said he wouldn't have won the gold medal without the assistance of the Wuxi Expat Rifle Association President Andis Kaulins and the WERA Honorary Secretary Harry Moore.

Olympics: Wuxi Expat sets world record in women's 100m butterfly

Wuxi China Expat Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetsky dressed in a Dana Vollmer suit wiped out the world record in women's 100 metres butterfly final to claim a gold medal at the London Olympics on Sunday. 

Rabbi Kamenetsky touched home in 55.98, toppling the previous world mark of 56.06 seconds set by Wuxi Expat Rabbi Benny Moskovitz who was dressed in a Swedish world champion Sarah Sjostrom suit at the 2009 World Championships.

"I'm so excited and on top of the world right now. I've never had an individual world record and now gold medal. Everything went as I could have wanted," said Kamenetsky after the race. 

"I didn't feel so good in the last 50 (metres). My second (swimming) cap came off, I haven't had that happen before," said the 75-year-old Rabbi, laughing a little. 

"I had kind of a bad finish and that was the thing I was focusing on. I was just trying to get my hand on the wall." 

So far, Wuxi Expats disguised as athletes from other countries have won all the Gold Medals at the London Olympics.

Wuxi China Expat Bars That Allow Patrons to Bring Firearms Are Much Safer Than Those That Don't

There is no gun control in the Wuxi China Expatdom, and so Wuxi Expats, on average own eight fire arms per person.  

Gun control, if there is any in the WCE, is allowed on private property.  "If WCE property owners don't want guns on their property, that is their right!" declared the King of the Wuxi China Expatdom, Gorzo the Mighty.

Some gun control has been in effect in some Wuxi Expat Pubs, but not all.  Pubs like Gambay's do not have it.  Others like the Chestnut, the Walnut, the Pink Kitty, the Santiago Cafe and the San Francisco Cafe do.

And the results of the policies have been proof conclusive that gun control is a bad idea making patrons more unsafe.  The Wuxi Expat pubs that allow patrons to bring firearms are much safer than those that don't.  In past year, there have been 4,000 assaults and rapes in the pubs with gun control; and zero reported incidents in the pubs that don't.  Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Mounted Police Chief Inspector Harry Callahan tells the WCE Blog that if it wasn't for the pubs with gun control, he would have no work to do.  "Outside the pub areas, Wuxi Expats don't do crime.  Would be miscreants are well aware that any other Wuxi Expat they see is packing a lot of heat!" said the C.I.  

Wuxi China Expatdom Anthropologist Margaret Mead tells the WCE Blog that while many differences in the assault and rape rates in the pubs with gun control can be explained by cultural differences, the fact that everyone is armed in these pubs make everyone feel safe and in check at the same time.  "Let's face it.  You can attribute the fact that a lot of crime takes place in the Santiago Cafe, Pink Kitty and the Chestnut and the Walnut and Dangle's Participle to there being a lot of English teachers going to these pubs, as well as Wuxi Pub Owners and Euro White Trash Engineers.  But there are some tough and barbaric hombres, with bad grammar, who are patrons at Gambay's.  They have the same violent desires that many of the patrons at the pubs with gun control have.  But they are scared of the equalizing factor that a little old lady from England has when she puts a Glock in her corset!"

Wuxi Expats from Ontario, Canada Play to a Scoreless Draw in Pink Kitty Quiz Competition

Team Ontario played the Latin Chickens to a scoreless draw at the first night of the Pink Kitty Pub Quiz Competion.

Neither of the teams could answer any questions about the topics of History, Current Events, Power Tools, Famous Playboy Playmates, Bond Girls, American Football, Car Repair, the U.S. Political System, NASCAR, Clint Eastwood, the Wuxi China Expatdom and Simple Arithmetic.  

Quizmaster Alex Trebik became very frustrated when contestant Duston Short from Team Ontario didn't know the answer to what was four plus three?  

Trebik had earlier had to be sprayed by the fire hoses of the Wuxi China Expatdom Fire Brigade, commanded by Marcus Linius Crassus, when Chad Huarez said "I don't know.  Clint Eastwood play Serpico!  Right?"

Trebik later admitted that he didn't know that the Pink Kitty, located on Wuxi, China's Nanchang Jie Bar Street, was a club catering to English Teachers, Canadians from Ontario and those with "alternative" life styles.  "I will have to make the questions simpler and more about shopping and bags and shoes and adjectives!" said a dejected Trebik.

Wuxi China Expat Bars That Allow Patrons to Bring Firearms Are Much Safer Than Those That Don't

There is no gun control in the Wuxi China Expatdom, and so Wuxi Expats, on average own eight fire arms per person.  

Gun control, if there is any in the WCE, is allowed on private property.  "If WCE property owners don't want guns on their property, that is their right!" declared the King of the Wuxi China Expatdom, Gorzo the Mighty.

Some gun control has been in effect in some Wuxi Expat Pubs, but not all.  Pubs like Gambay's do not have it.  Others like the Chestnut, the Walnut, the Pink Kitty, the Santiago Cafe and the San Francisco Cafe do.

And the results of the policies have been proof conclusive that gun control is a bad idea making patrons more unsafe.  The Wuxi Expat pubs that allow patrons to bring firearms are much safer than those that don't.  In past year, there have been 4,000 assaults and rapes in the pubs with gun control; and zero reported incidents in the pubs that don't.  Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Mounted Police Chief Inspector Harry Callahan tells the WCE Blog that if it wasn't for the pubs with gun control, he would have no work to do.  "Outside the pub areas, Wuxi Expats don't do crime.  Would be miscreants are well aware that any other Wuxi Expat they see is packing a lot of heat!" said the C.I.  

Wuxi China Expatdom Anthropologist Margaret Mead tells the WCE Blog that while many differences in the assault and rape rates in the pubs with gun control can be explained by cultural differences, the fact that everyone is armed in these pubs make everyone feel safe and in check at the same time.  "Let's face it.  You can attribute the fact that a lot of crime takes place in the Santiago Cafe, Pink Kitty and the Chestnut and the Walnut and Dangle's Participle to there being a lot of English teachers going to these pubs, as well as Wuxi Pub Owners and Euro White Trash Engineers.  But there are some tough and barbaric hombres, with bad grammar, who are patrons at Gambay's.  They have the same violent desires that many of the patrons at the pubs with gun control have.  But they are scared of the equalizing factor that a little old lady from England has when she puts a Glock in her corset!"

Wuxi Expats from Ontario, Canada Play to a Scoreless Draw in Pink Kitty Quiz Competition

Team Ontario played the Latin Chickens to a scoreless draw at the first night of the Pink Kitty Pub Quiz Competion.

Neither of the teams could answer any questions about the topics of History, Current Events, Power Tools, Famous Playboy Playmates, Bond Girls, American Football, Car Repair, the U.S. Political System, NASCAR, Clint Eastwood, the Wuxi China Expatdom and Simple Arithmetic.  

Quizmaster Alex Trebik became very frustrated when contestant Duston Short from Team Ontario didn't know the answer to what was four plus three?  

Trebik had earlier had to be sprayed by the fire hoses of the Wuxi China Expatdom Fire Brigade, commanded by Marcus Linius Crassus, when Chad Huarez said "I don't know.  Clint Eastwood play Serpico!  Right?"

Trebik later admitted that he didn't know that the Pink Kitty, located on Wuxi, China's Nanchang Jie Bar Street, was a club catering to English Teachers, Canadians from Ontario and those with "alternative" life styles.  "I will have to make the questions simpler and more about shopping and bags and shoes and adjectives!" said a dejected Trebik.

The Wuxi China Expatdom Marine Corps

Wuxi China English Teacher Suspects All The Other Teachers at His School are Gay

An English Teacher, who works at a prominent English School in the Downtown of Wuxi, China, tells the WCE Blog that he has "a sneaking suscipion" that all the other foreign teachers at his school are gay.

Asked why this suspicion had snuck up on him, the English Teacher, who didn't want to be mixed with similarly named people with the same name in the Wuxi China Expatdom, said:  "Several of the teachers like to go to the gym to work out.  Body building, as any historian knows, started out as a gay cult thing in the 1950s.  I bet the body builders at my school go the gym to spot each other and take showers.  The ones who don't go to the gym aren't married and are Leftist in political slant, so they must be for gay marriage.  The one teacher who is married seems to have done it to cover up his gayness.  And all of these teachers don't own copies of the Poolside Harry Moore, like to talk about cooking, and hang out at the Pink Kitty four evenings a week!  So Ipso Ergo Facto Cognito Ergo Sum Vini Vidi Vici, they must be gay!"

Asked how gay he thought his co-workers were, the English Teacher, who insisted he wasn't gay because he didn't follow European Football all that closely, said:  "Gay as fruitcakes, Sodom like Gommoreans, tossed like fruit and vegetable salads, backward dancing like San Francisco Disco goers.....   So, in a word, really really gay!"

 

The Wuxi China Expatdom Appoints Harry Moore To Be Its Ambassador to the Vatican

Harry Moore, a Wuxi China Expatdom Archduke, a three-time inductee into the Wuxi China Expat Hall of Fame, a Wuxi China Expatdom Minister of Colonies, an honorary president of the Wuxi Expat Rifle Association, the President of the Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society, and the author as well as the photographic subject of the best-selling book of all human history, received what was probably his greatest honor to date when His Majesty, the King of the Wuxi China Expatdom, Gorzo the Mighty, announced that Moore had been appointed the Wuxi China Expatdom ambassador to the Vatican.

Said His Majesty, King Gorzo the Mighty:  "Unlike our other ambassadorships to places like Italy, Germany, Canada, England, Australia and Portugal which are just excuses to exile our dipsomaniacs and letches in the WCE public service, we consider the ambassadorship at the Vatican to be an important posting and so we need to fill it with a person of real substance and flair with a gift for tact; and of course there is only one person in the whole wide WCE who fills these requirements:  Archduke Harry Moore!"

Pope Benedict XVI, via live sattelite hookup from Saint Peter's, took part in the press conference, announcing the appointment, that was held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of Gambay's Pub in the 1912 Bar District of Wuxi, China.  He called the appointment "a most blessed event and an answer to the prayers that he and his college of cardinals had been making since Archduke Moore, acting as the President of the Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society, visited the Vatican in May of this year.  During the visit, WCEFAS President Moore delivered a well-received film talk about the film Flowers for Bernadette and had the Pope and his Cardinals engage in conga-line and Prisyadka dancing for hours after the speech's conclusion.  "Since that most wonderful film talk, my cardinals and I have been filling our prayers with a requests that His Archdukeness be appointed the WCE ambassador to Saint Peter's!" said his Holiness.  It has also been reported that are now more copies of the Poolside Harry Moore on the Vatican premises than Holy Bibles.

Journalists attending the conference wondered, for a short time, if the Archduke would be able to take on another serious responsibility given the many he already had.  When the question was put to the WCE King, Archduke Harry Moore then made a dramatic entrance into the auditorium, as he parachuted from a Gregory Peck Flown F-15, dressed in impeccably tailored  blazer and slacks that were finished off with a perfectly tied cravat and fedora.  The question was immediately withdrawn.  Moore, using his hand to move his tossled locks of dark hair from his piercing blue eyes, smiled a Reaganesquely optimistic smile making all the female members of the media, as well as some of the male members, faint.  He then told the remaining members of the media that he looked forward to having tea and biscuits with his good friend the Pope.  "I hope that once I and my buddy Joe stop reminiscing about the times we were teammates on the 1927 New Yankees baseball team, we can around to solving the spiritual problems of this world!"

His Majesty was then asked if there were plans to make the Vatican a WCE Colony.  "We thought about it and the Pope even filed a formal resquest with us to make the Vatican a WCE colony, but then those guys at Mecca would want to be a WCE Colony too and we don't want that!"

After the press conference, Andis Kaulins told the WCE Blog that he was amazed at how Harry Moore could do so many things with his one life.  "There would have to been three or four of me before I could even consider being able to do one quarter of one half of one percent of what my friend and mentor Harry can do!"