Monday, July 23, 2012

The Wuxi China Expatdom Appoints Harry Moore To Be Its Ambassador to the Vatican

Harry Moore, a Wuxi China Expatdom Archduke, a three-time inductee into the Wuxi China Expat Hall of Fame, a Wuxi China Expatdom Minister of Colonies, an honorary president of the Wuxi Expat Rifle Association, the President of the Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society, and the author as well as the photographic subject of the best-selling book of all human history, received what was probably his greatest honor to date when His Majesty, the King of the Wuxi China Expatdom, Gorzo the Mighty, announced that Moore had been appointed the Wuxi China Expatdom ambassador to the Vatican.

Said His Majesty, King Gorzo the Mighty:  "Unlike our other ambassadorships to places like Italy, Germany, Canada, England, Australia and Portugal which are just excuses to exile our dipsomaniacs and letches in the WCE public service, we consider the ambassadorship at the Vatican to be an important posting and so we need to fill it with a person of real substance and flair with a gift for tact; and of course there is only one person in the whole wide WCE who fills these requirements:  Archduke Harry Moore!"

Pope Benedict XVI, via live sattelite hookup from Saint Peter's, took part in the press conference, announcing the appointment, that was held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of Gambay's Pub in the 1912 Bar District of Wuxi, China.  He called the appointment "a most blessed event and an answer to the prayers that he and his college of cardinals had been making since Archduke Moore, acting as the President of the Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society, visited the Vatican in May of this year.  During the visit, WCEFAS President Moore delivered a well-received film talk about the film Flowers for Bernadette and had the Pope and his Cardinals engage in conga-line and Prisyadka dancing for hours after the speech's conclusion.  "Since that most wonderful film talk, my cardinals and I have been filling our prayers with a requests that His Archdukeness be appointed the WCE ambassador to Saint Peter's!" said his Holiness.  It has also been reported that are now more copies of the Poolside Harry Moore on the Vatican premises than Holy Bibles.

Journalists attending the conference wondered, for a short time, if the Archduke would be able to take on another serious responsibility given the many he already had.  When the question was put to the WCE King, Archduke Harry Moore then made a dramatic entrance into the auditorium, as he parachuted from a Gregory Peck Flown F-15, dressed in impeccably tailored  blazer and slacks that were finished off with a perfectly tied cravat and fedora.  The question was immediately withdrawn.  Moore, using his hand to move his tossled locks of dark hair from his piercing blue eyes, smiled a Reaganesquely optimistic smile making all the female members of the media, as well as some of the male members, faint.  He then told the remaining members of the media that he looked forward to having tea and biscuits with his good friend the Pope.  "I hope that once I and my buddy Joe stop reminiscing about the times we were teammates on the 1927 New Yankees baseball team, we can around to solving the spiritual problems of this world!"

His Majesty was then asked if there were plans to make the Vatican a WCE Colony.  "We thought about it and the Pope even filed a formal resquest with us to make the Vatican a WCE colony, but then those guys at Mecca would want to be a WCE Colony too and we don't want that!"

After the press conference, Andis Kaulins told the WCE Blog that he was amazed at how Harry Moore could do so many things with his one life.  "There would have to been three or four of me before I could even consider being able to do one quarter of one half of one percent of what my friend and mentor Harry can do!"

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