Giant Crocodile eats Twenty Wuxi Expat Swimmers at Lake Taihu

There is little sympathy in the Wuxi China Expatdom for the twenty Wuxi Expats from Ontario, Canada who were eaten when they decided to go swimming in waters in Lake Taihu infested with Giant Crocodiles.

Wuxi China Expatdom Police Force Chief Inspector Detective Harry Callahan told the WCE Blog that the Expats from Ontario, Canada had been warned repeatedly not to go swimming in the crocidile-infested waters near Turtlehead Park on Lake Taihu.  "I told them and I told them and I told them and I told them!  What is with people from Ontario, Canada?  They are the dumbest punks you are ever going to meet!"

Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy Commander Lloyd Bridges was especially annoyed at the Ontario, Canada Expats.  "I was making my way through the fifth season of the Wire.  A great show I might add!  And then I get a phonecall asking me to wrestle some big crocodile to the death!  I did of course.  But I am angry at the hour of my life lost having to save the rest of those people from Ontario, Canada!"  Over three hundred Expats from Ontario, Canada went swimming near Turtlehead Park and thought it was a great idea to wear fish in their swim trunks.

Wally Dundee, a Wuxi Expat from Australia was even more annoyed at the Ontario, Canada Expats.  The crocodile that Admiral Bridges had to wrestle to the death was Angus, one of a bloody lot of crocs brought to Lake Taihu from Australia by Dundee.  "Oh!  How I will miss Angus!  Of all the Crocs I brought with me with me from Brisbane, he was my right best favorite!  I don't think I will be able to get pissed tonight!  I'm so sad!"

His Majesty the King of the Wuxi China Expatdom, Gorzo the Mighty, was said to have shed a tear when he heard of the death of Angus the Giant Crocidile.  He immediately declared that Monday, July 23 would be an official day of mourning for Angus the Crocidile with WCE Flags to be flown at half-mast, and all Expatdomites to wear black arm bands.  "I haven't felt this sad since Sarah Palin announced she wasn't running for the U.S. presidency!  said his majesty.

Chortlers and Guffawers of the Wuxi China Expatdom currently engaged in a war of chuckling declared a cease-laugh effective till Tuesday, July 24th.  "It is not a good time to laugh!" said  Sam "slap knee" McClintock Hardy Hardy Hardy Har Har.  "I am gonna miss that Angus but I ain't gonna be missing those Ontarified Wuxi Expats however!"

Prominent landmarks around the Wuxi China Expatdom have been turned into shrines to Angus the Crocodile.  At the 888m tall statue of Archduke Harry Moore on the grounds of the Wuxi Expat Hall of Fame, thousands of wreaths and toy crocodiles have been laid by grieving Wuxi China Expatdomites.