Superstar Firefighter Marcus Linius Crassus Joins the Wuxi Expat Elite

Marcus Linius Crassus, commander of the Wuxi China Expatdom Fire Brigade, is now being ranked among the elite Wuxi Expats, thanks to his fire-fighting exploits.  

"You can now talk about MLC in the same breathe with King Gorzo the Mighty, Prime Minister Mango, Wuxi China Expatdom Police Squad Commander Harry Callahan, Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy Admiral Lloyd Bridges, Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Land Force Commander General Colonel Harlan Sanders, Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Air Force Commander Gregory Peck, Gambay's Pub owners Fred and Frank Minkleman, the Rabbis who play for the Wuxi Red Guards Football Team, and Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society President Archduke Harry Moore!" said WCE historian Edward "Teddy" Gibbon.

"If he was a woman named Marcia Linia Crassia and still just as great a fire fighter, you would be able to talk in the same breathe of him, I mean her, with Wuxi China Expatdom first ladies Queen Ayira: the Chosen One, Prime Ministerial First Lady Wonder Woman, and Archduchess and consort to the Archduke Harry Moore:  Mrs. Miss Moneypenny Moore." said Gibbon's wife Suzanna.

"If MLC was the exact opposite of his gorgeous, tall, handsome, lean, energetic self, you would be able to talk about MLC in the same breathe as the loathsome, squat, and lazy English Teacher and Midget Sumo Wrestling Duston Short from Ontario, Canada!" said the senior teacher at Wuxi's English Fungus Language School.

Crassus first earned notice from Wuxi China Expatdom devotees by his deft and humane employments of fire hoses to quell the ardor of crowds who had just listened to the magnificent orations of Harry Moore.  Archduke Moore, who, more than a great orator, is a superb humanitarian, praised all of Crassus's actions for a WCE Blog interview, noting how not once was a member of his audience ever hurt or even knocked to the ground by a fire hose commanded by Crassus.

But Crassus really earned his superstar status during the great fire at the 500 storey Kaulins tower in downtown Wuxi, China.  "Not only did he single-handedly pull all one million residents out of the tower to safety.  He also managed to save all eighty million copies of the Poolside Harry Moore that belonged to the residents!" said Redd Foxx, the Kaulins Tower super.  "So not only did he save lives, he made their lives worth living!"

Since then, Crassus has saved millions of other lives and billions of copies of the Poolside Harry Moore in other Wuxi China Expatdom Skyscraper fires including those  at the 700 storey Harry Moore State Building, the fifty storey Moresky360 building, the 49 storey Kempenski Building and the 450 storey Miss Moneypenny building.

Crassus says his role models are Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy Commander Lloyd Bridges and Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society President, the Archduke Harry Moore.  "Thanks to my pal Lloyd, I have learned that I do my best work without my shirt on!  Archduke Harry, as I like to call him, mentored since he found me in the jungles of Nanchang being raised by coyotes!  He taught me the value of sunny optimism, hair-grooming techniques, a physical fitness regimen that makes me look god-like, religious faith and an ability to write and say stirring prose  and lyrics as I fight fires!"

Asked about rumours of a possible Wuxi China Expat Hall of Fame induction, Crassus turned a slight shade of red and said "Aw Schucks!  Being able to save lives and copies of the Poolside Harry Moore gives me all the satisfaction I need in this life!"