Didley Dandy Do, a Wuxi Expat from Derbyshire, has sold complete interest in the aircraft carrier R.A.S.S. Putin to Wuxi locals.
Dandy Do told the WCE Blog that he sold the RASS Putin to his "wonderful Wuxi friend Admiral Hai Chuan" for drinks and a song. "People are telling me that I could have gotten more the aircraft carrier!" said Dandy Do. "But shucks! I love my buddy Chuan to death, and it would break my heart to see the carrier sold to interests who didn't want Chuan to be its head maintenance engineer and masseuse!"
Dandy Do told the WCE Blog that he was selling the RASS Putin in order to spend more time on his recently acquired battleship The RASS Potemkin.
Experts say that Dandy Do could have gotten more than a drink, a song, and a back-rub for the carrier which has surface area to land one thousand Boeing 787s, and area underneath for four shopping malls, ten pubs, shower facilities for a thousand sailors, and ten thousand bunk or double beds.
News of the sale was seen as an end of an era by many Wuxi Expats, many of whom had fond reminiscences of time spent on the carrier.
Andis Kaulins, the English teacher who is not to be confused with the Andis Kaulins who is the president of the Wuxi Expat Rifle Association and the Andis Kaulins who is the chairman of the Wuxi Elite Expat Association, told the WCE blog that the RASS Putin was the place where he earned his "sea salts." Said ET Kaulins: "It was on the RASS Putin that I earned my license to speak saltily or swear like a sailor, as the expression goes! I also learned to say "Arggy Parggy!" and smoke using a corn-on-the-cob pipe!"
Duston Short, the disgraced former midget sumo wrestling champion, told the WCE Blog that the RASS Putin was the place where he lost his virginity and so would always have a special place in his heart. "Being a cabin boy on the RASS Putin was a great experience for me. I recommend that any boy, who wants to come of age, to try being a cabin boy for a year or so! The sailors treat you extra special!"
His Majesty, the King of the Wuxi China Expatdom, Gorzo the Mighty had this to say about the sale of the RASS Putin while paying a visit to the Harry Moore Hospital for Children, Orphans, and Women: "My heart is filled with sadness and fond reminsicences now that I have heard of the news of the sale of the Royal Australian Sailer Service Air Carrier Putin. For it was under the flight deck of the Putin, that I, along with the blogger Andrew Cowlinch, was able to plot the overthrow of the Ayatollah of Mordor and bring light, liberty, and good odours to the Wuxi China Expatdom!"
The RASS Putin which is currently dry-docked at the Wuxi China Expatdom Free Seaport on Lake Taihu will become the official property of Admiral Chuan on February 14th. "It will be a butter sweat parting for me!" said a teary-eyed Dandy Do.
