Blatz Continues to Outsell other Brands at Gambays

Deposed and Despised Wuxi Expat King Has a Rash

Deposed Wuxi Expat Tyrant Refuses to take off Crown

D-Day 6 June 1944: The General Colonel Sanders Remembers

   
           The cliffs of Normandy, France June 6, 2014

         - He stood bareheaded and alone. Proud and erect, firm of jaw, resolute of will.
World leaders who assembled for the D-Day anniversary clamoured to pump the hand of the Expatdom's top fighting-man, General Colonel Harlan B. Sanders.
Modern-day soldiers also knelt at his feet, eager to hear the veteran war-horse's reminisces of that day, 70 year's ago, when the General stormed ashore here.

         - "It was me", the General began, "the first man ashore here at Normandy. And, I was the last!".
"Went in at, ohh, must've been about 0600 hours with the 101st Airborne. M' boys were pretty sick in that landing-craft, but not me, not after countless hours trainingback home in Lake Taihu.
So we got in there at Utah ok. Lit-up a Lucky Strike. Then I got a call to go over and help at Omaha.


"Pretty soon after, those Brits at Sword wanted me there too, so I waded on-in again. All t'gether, I stormed ashore, withdrew, then returned ashore, around 68 times on D-Day.  Our WCE Expats, our boys, fought like tigers. We wuz unstoppable. But I just had to get that franchise up and running. We were serving nuggets in St Mere Eglise by 1800 hours".

"Mind you, those Krauts didn't exactly make it a picnic fer us!", chortled the General Colonel, with his characteristic earthy growl. "I personally took out 17 pill-boxes in the first seven minutes. Came up against a hard-nosed bunch o' Krauts in a trench, so I tossed 'em some pineapples, and fries, and out they came, beggin' for my mercy".

"I think it would've been just after lunch when I captured those 22 German generals. Absolute cinch. Jus' barked th' ole 'hande hoch' at em, took their orders, and that was it".

"About a week later Ike pinned a clutch of medals on me. Monty pinned a few more on me a few days later.  All in all, it was a mighty-fine battle for me and th' Wuxer Expat Regiments", smiled the General Colonel. One gets the impression that this hard-bitten warrior has got another ten world wars left in him, yet to fight.
"I keep m' pecker up", nodded the General Colonel.

Israeli Expat English Teachers in Wuxi Love the Pink Kitty's Dance Nights, but Feel That Something is Missing

Wuxi Expat Philosopher to Marry Reason

Wudwig Littgenstein, Wuxi Expat Philosopher, has married Reason in a ceremony held in the Benedict Chapel at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of Gambay's Pub #2 in the Nanchang Jie Bar Street of Wuxi, China.

Blessed Saint Archduke Sir Harry Moore Emeritus was the best man for the ceremony which was conducted by Elite Expat and Priest Andis Kaulins. Also attending were His Majesty King of the Wuxi China Expatdom Gorzo the Mighty and his consort Queen Ayira: The Chosen One, Wuxi Expat Blogger Andrew Cowlinch, Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Mounted Police Force Chief Inspector Harry Callahan, Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Air Force Supreme Marshall Gregory Peck, Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy Admiral and Life Guard Lloyd Bridges, Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Land Force Commander General Chuck Chugwater, Wuxi China Expatdom Prime Minister Mango, Wuxi China Expatdom Parliamentary Opposition Leader General Augusto Pinochle, Wuxi China Expatdom King in waiting Sir Alec Guinness, some Wuxi English teachers, the President of the Wuxi Expat Rifle Association Mister K, and all the Wuxi Expat Pub owners.

A reception was held afterward with catering services provided by Wally Droop. Blessed Saint Archduke Sir Harry Moore Emeritus and Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Mounted Police Force Chief Inspector Harry Callahan accompanied by Nielson Riddle and his Orchestra performed the music.

Littgenstein's marriage did present some problems for the Wuxi China Expatdom Wedding License Bureau. Though marriage to inanimate objects is permitted in the Wuxi China Expatdom, the original WCE law permitting such marriages stated that Wuxi Expats had to marry physical manifestation of things and that marriages to abstractions were strictly prohibited. The WCEWLB initially refused to grant Littgenstein a license to which the philosopher responded by picketing the WCEWLB. With a backlog of over one million Wuxi Expats seeking to marry their firearms, the WCEWLB told Littgenstein that they would grant his marriage to reason if he could find a person or thing to stand in for Reason at the ceremony.

Littgenstein refused the offer until he meet Wuxi Expat English Teacher Association President and Ex-Stripper Sugar Candy at Dangle's Participle Pub, a popular hangout and drinking hole for Wuxi English Teachers. “When I first lay my eyes on her, I exclaimed Eureka!! Sugar was the physical manifestation of Reason that I had mistakenly assumed never existed!” said Littgenstein. Littgenstein had wanted to marry his reason because it was something that a modern philosopher worth his salt in the Wuxi China Expatdom should do.

Sugar Candy agreed to be a stand-in for Reason at the ceremony and to accompany Littgenstein on the honeymoon. “Ha ha, he he. I am looking forward to him showing me what he means when he says that the human body is the best picture of the human soul. He he ho. I also want him to show me these things of which we cannot speak!”