Official Poll: Wuxi's Expat Senior Citizens Love Guns More Than Croquet or Gardening

Wuxi Expat Decision to Ride Subway in the Nude Earns a Ticker Tape Parade from the Locals

On Saturday, an estimated five million, eight hundred and fifty thousand Wuxiren lined Zhongshan Road for a ticker tape parade honoring Saint Archduke Sir Harry Moore Emeritus for his deciding to ride, in the nude, the newly opened Wuxi Metro.

Mobile phone photos and video of the Wuxi Expat Archduke riding the Wuxi Metro, sans clothing, went viral among Chinese Netizens. As of Saturday, there have been an estimated twelve trillion views of the Archduke and his wife Mrs. Miss Moneypenny trying out Wuxi's subway for the first time.

Wuxi city government officials decided to hold the parade after a crowd estimated at a million gathered at Wuxi's Taihu Square demanding the honor of the ticker tape parade which had previously only been given to military heroes of China's fight against Japan and of the later civil war against the KMT.

The Archduke's nude trip has also earned national and international acclaim. Chinese President Xi Jing Ping has asked the Archduke to come ride the Beijing Subway in the nude after which an enormous rally at Tienanmen Square is planned. U.S. President Barack Obama, in a decision approved unanimously by a usually split congress and senate, has invited Archduke Harry to come to Washington DC to get the US Medal of Freedom, the highest the American government can bestow on a foreigner.

Blogger Andrew Cowlinch best summed up the reason for the honor. “Trains and subways are certainly wonderful feats of engineering. But they still pale to the awe-inspiring sight of a virile Archduke and Saint in the prime of his physical magnificence!”

Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy Commander Lloyd Bridges praised the Archduke's courage in deciding to deal with the humid Wuxi weather by not wearing any clothes on the air-conditioned subway. “Just the day before, twenty expats from Ontario Canada who decided to ride the Wuxi subway in the nude were torn to shreds by an angry mob of Wuxi locals. Not a big loss to humanity , I know, but mobs being as they are can often turn on good and noble people.”

For his part, Saint Archduke Sir Harry Moore Emeritus said he didn't see what the big deal was. Normally, I walk the streets of Wuxi in my speedos and never get a second look. I am sure they were just looking at my darling Miss Moneypenny!”

Wuxi Expatdom Children rush to participate in "World-Gun, Re-Armament, and Lets-Nuke-the-Bastards" Week