Sarah Palin is the 2013 Wuxi Expat of the Year

Sarah Palin is the 2013 Wuxi Expat of the Year.

The announcement was made by Kenneshaw “Hui Shan” Landis at a press conference held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of the Gambay's Pub II in Wuxi's Nanchang Jie Bar Street area.

Landis defended the decision. “I am sure there a few who would question the decision to name the controversial conservative firebrand the Wuxi Expat of the year, but we have many good reasons. For one thing, we have a lot to answer for in decisions we have previously made in giving out the award. We have to make up for the fact that we caught up in the euphoria of the Obama election of 2008 and named him the Wuxi Expat of the year of 2009. And in 2012, we named the execrable blogger Andrew Cowlinch the Wuxi Expat of the year. Wuxi Expats were right to riot after that decision – Archduke Sir Harry Moore was cheated. We wanted to give Moore the 2013 award but he refused to accept nominations, and suggested that we name Sarah Palin in his stead. Impressed and shamed by his chivalry, we immediately bowed to his request and gave Palin the nomination. Of course, Sarah was head and shoulders above the other nominees most of whom were effeminate in some way or questionable in morality in another.”

Landis then spoke for an hour praising Palin. He praised Palin for “her supreme good sense,” “not being Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, or Hugo Chavez,” “her excellent work on television,” “her defence of Phil Robertson,” “her solid admiration for the spirit of freedom prevailing in the Wuxi China Expatdom,” “her defence of the unborn,” “her fabulous good looks,” “her being like Archduke Sir Harry Moore if he would have been a female,” and “setting an example of all other Wuxi Expats about how to be.”

For her part, Palin said that receiving the 2013 Wuxi Expat of the Year award was a bigger honor than being asked to to take vice-presidential spot on the 2008 Republican Ticket. “And while it was a great regret to have lost the 2008 election, it pales with the disappointment I feel that I never got to be the mother of Archduke Sir Harry Moore's children. Don't get me wrong, my husband Todd is a great man and would certainly earn a spot in the Wuxi Expat Hall of Fame if he lived in Wuxi, but Sir Harry is a stud with his tousled locks of black hair, his golden smile, and his statue of David physique.