Thursday, April 23, 2015

Wuxi Expat Forgets to Put On Clothes, Earns Standing Ovations from Locals



Wuxi Expat Harry Moore, officially known as Double Saint Archduke Harry Moore Emeritus, says he was walking to the Baoli Carrefour, on an errand for his wife Wuxi Expat Duchess Miss Moneypenny, when he noticed all the locals he passed were in the clutches of ecstasy and clapping, cheering and hooting for all it was worth.

"It wasn't till all these women  festooned me with flowers and men stared directly at me, their eyes full of admiration and envy, that I realized they were applauding me" said Moore, the Wuxi Expat Archduke and four time inductee into the Wuxi China Hall of Glorious Foreigners.

Moore was mystified as to why the locals were showing him such enthusiasm till he realized he had forgotten something.

"I forgot to put on my clothes!" said Moore.  "Normally, I try to pass myself off as a local because I am sympathetic to the trouble my appearances in public cause the local police and businesses!"

Moore attributed his absent-mindedness to the intense concentration he was giving to his latest project, the making of the film "Machismo Unleashed." which he is producing by himself, co-directing with Clint Eastword, and starring in with the ghosts of Steve McQueen and Bruce Lee. With the biggest budget in  film history, 1.3 trillion dollars, Moore says he and his good friend Clint plan on making an old-fashioned epic in the manner of Lawrence of Arabia and the Wizard of Ox.  Eschewing any sort of computer technology, the film is going to employ over a ten million extras including an one million women Swedish Bikini Army.

Moore says he very much regrets having inadvertently gone on his naturist walk.  "Having to go to all these award ceremonies put on by the local government to honor me, for what was meant to be a trip to Carrefour to buy some beans for my wife, is slowing down the planning for my film project."

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