Wuxi Expat Wins Inaugural Nobel Prize in Cinema

Wuxi Expat Double Saint Archduke Sir Harry Moore Emeritus is now a Nobel Laureate.

In Stockholm, Sweden, the Nobel Committee announced the awarding of inaugural Nobel Prize in Cinema to Archduke Sir Harry Moore from the Wuxi China Expatdom.

The Nobel Committee decided to create the award for Cinema after the staggering reception that Moore's first film Machismo Unleashed has had on the World (it has, as of this report, grossed over 5 trillion USD, worldwide, at the box office), as well as the previous tremendous impact Moore's film lectures and DVD commentaries had made to the understanding of the cinematic art.

"No person in history," said Nobel Committee Cinema Chairman Lars Erik Sjoberg, " has done so much to make cinema an legitimate art form as his Archdukiness, who has produced in the field of cinema the most outstanding work in an ideal direction."

As soon as Archduke Moore's Nobel recipient announcement was made, world nation leaders, except for one, were quick to praise the creation of the prize and its awarding to Moore.

In the United States, it was Vice President Joe Biden who offered his government's praise to the Archduke for winning the award. Biden unfortunately couldn't escape doing so without a gaffe when he said it was "good to see the Nobel Prize awarded to someone who actually deserved it." Spokesman for the Vice President later said that Biden was objecting to the awarding of the Nobel Prize in Economics to Milton Friedman, not to President Obama being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Biden at a later press conference, said Obama "really deserved the award unlike Friedman who was awarded the peace prize but turned out to be a terrorist all along."

Also praising the Moore's Nobel Prize was the Pope Benedict Emeritus who made a rare public appearance to extend his congratulations to Archduke Moore. "I want to offer congratulations to Double Saint Archduke Sir Harry Moore Emeritus, a man of great wisdom, and knowledge. He's a man who serves the Lord. And we remember well a film lecture he did at the Vatican -- how his words touched our hearts and the hearts of millions. We join our fellow citizens and millions around the world who pray for him to make a sequel. If I may be so bold as to suggest a title for it, I hope very much to would like to see blessed Harry make Machismo Unchained!"

The Archduke was tracked down by reporters in Wuxi, China and said the following about becoming a Nobel Prize recipient: "Given my reactionary political stances, I am surprised to have received a reward from the Nobel committee. So I first want to thank them for overcoming their ideological biases. Also, I want to say that I couldn't have received this award without the behind the scenes cooperation of many including my wife Miss Moneypenny, the blogger Andrew Cowlinch, His Majesties King Gorzo the Mighty and King Alec Guiness, Her Majesty Ayira: the Chosen One; and many of my dear friends including David Lean, Clint Eastwood, Bruce Lee, Steve McQueen, Wuxi China Expatdom Admiral Lloyd Bridges, Wuxi China Expatdom Armed Forces Commander General Colonel Harlan Sanders, Andis Kaulins the elite Wuxi Expat – not the Andis Kaulins who is an English Teacher or the Andis Kaulins who is a blogger, Wuxi Expatdom Royal Mounted Police Inspector McNaulty, Gambay's Pub Owner Fred Minkleman, and Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Air Force Marshall Gregory Peck."

Asked what he was going to do with his award medal, the Archduke told members of the press to ask his wife. Miss Moneypenny said: "Oh! I suppose I will put it next to darling Harry's three Academy Awards, his five Pulitzer prizes, his seven Stanley Cup Rings, his Super Bowl Ring, his three Wuxi Expat Hall of Fame induction medals, his world welterweight championship belt, his seven Wuxi China Hall of Glorious Foreigners medals, and his autographed photos of David Lean and Sammy Davis Junior."

Archduke Harry Moore is the third Wuxi Expat to have a Nobel Prize. In 2012, Wuxi China Expatdom Queen Ayira: the Chosen One won the Nobel Prize for Economics, and her husband Wuxi China Expat King Gorzo the Mighty won the Nobel Peace Prize.