Droop, the leggy owner of the Walnut, Chestnut and Pink Kitty Pubs, announced his pub's new weekly event at a sparsely-attended press conference held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of the Gambay's Pub in the 1912 Bar District of Wuxi, China.
"Bring your pocket lint, your navel lint, your naval uniform lint, the lint between your toes, and the dust bunnies that collect under your bed and behind your furniture! Collect the lint off your girlfriends or from your Chinese colleagues! I don't care! But bring the lint to the Walnut Pub on Saturday nights and you will receive discounts on all drinks in the pub. Bring enough lint and you may even get free booze and a Walnut V.I.P. card which entitles you to free food from the Walnut Kitchen!" said Droop, as he pounded his fist on the podium, prompting the few, in attendance at the press conference, to make a fascist salute and scream "sieg hiel!"
Raised to a lather by the fury of the crowd, Droop announced that the competitions that would be held on lint nights. "Every Saturday night, there will be a lint sculpture competition. First prize is an return air-ticket to the country of your choice! Second prize is a free meal from my kitchen! Third prize is TWo FRee MEALS FROM MY KITCHEN! AND THE WALNUT PATRON WHO BRINGS IN THE BIGGEST BALL OF LINT WILL GET FREE DRINKS FOR THE EVENING!!!!!!'
At this point, Droop's fury and that of the few watching his announcement, had to be doused by the water pumps of the Wuxi China Expatdom Fire Brigade, commanded by Marcus Linius Crassus.
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