Vatican, Catholic Church, Give Green Light to Firearm Marriages

     At a well-attended media conference this morning, Wuxi Expats were told that the
Roman Catholic Church will be happy to perform and consecrate marriages to firearms.

Adressing the conference, the well-known and amiable Expat Bishop Patrick O'Malley,
said that he'll be delighted to celebrate the nuptials of anyone, to a gun.

Seated in the front row were Andis Kaulins, the English Teacher, and Archduke Harry Moore, both
long-time converts and admirers of the Bishop.

    Drawing upon his legendary, and limitless, sense of humour, Bishop O'Malley kept-up a constant stream of quips and puns, including "small bore", and "high calibre".  Both Kaulins and Moore, as well as the media representatives, had difficulty in restraining their chortling.

        The Bishop concluded by making a reference to "those old-time shotgun weddings",
a bon mot which left both Kaulins and Moore rolling helplessly, in hysterics on the carpet.