Tech Genius, Male Model, Philanthropist and Former Wuxi Expat Paul Rudkin Is the 2015 Shanghai Expat of the Year

Paul Rudkin has been named the Shanghai Expat of the Year for an unprecedented third year in a row and thus has been granted all the privileges normally bestowed on humans who have achieved divine god like status on Earth.

By winning his third award Expat of the Year, Sir Rudkin the Mighty, entered a class of his own among all the great Shanghai Expats.  Other great Shanghai Expats like George Best, Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, Donnie Osmond, John Wayne, Fred Astaire, Hank Williams, and Oprah Winfrey had only managed to win two Shanghai Expat of the year awards.

Rudkin won his third consecutive Expat of the Year award, according to the awards committee, by being a hundred times more tech savvy, sexy and generous than he was in 2014 and a thousand times more tech smart, more virile and giving than he was in 2013.

With his third consecutive award, Rudkin was declared a Divine God by the Shanghai China Expatdom Colonial Administration.  (The Shanghai Expatdom is a colony of the Wuxi China Expatdom.)

The declaration of his divinity said the following: "We who are not worthy, which is every Shanghai Expat, must bow to our knees and plant our faces on the ground for two minutes if we see an image of Rudkin the Mighty.  If we are blessed by his divine, magnificent presence, we must stay on the ground for a further ten minutes and ask for permission to kiss his feet.  And if we have the monumental privilege of  being able to exchange words with him, we must constantly declare our gratitude and unworthiness to be in his presence."

The declaration also announced plans to honor Sir Paul "for eternity with a great burial chamber and monument for which all Shanghai Expats, whether slaves or freemen, will take part in its construction."

Details about the plan for the construction of the tomb, which will take 75 years to build, are still not completed.  What is known is that the tomb will take up 100 times the land area of the Shanghai Disneyland.  On the tomb's surface with be a great pyramid that will be ten times the size of the Pyramids of Cheops and be made of blocks of gold or titanium that, as well, will be ten times the size of those used to construct the monument to the Pharaohs.  In the the enormous chamber beneath the Pyramid, Rudkin the Mighty will be be buried with an army of ten million terracotta Swedish bikini models and Korean girl band members.

To honour Rudkin the Mighty in his life time, hundred meter tall solid gold statues of him will erected on every block in the Shanghai metropolitan area.

Rudkin, with great humility, thanked the Shanghai Expatdom government for the award and the divine status declaration, and then dedicated the award to the great Wuxi Expats.  "I really got my awarding winning Expatriate chops by spending my formative years in the Wuxi China Expatdom.  When you rub elbows with King Gorzo the Mighty, Queen Ayira: the Chosen One, Rabbi Aaron Goldberg, Prime Minister Mango, PM Mango's wife Wonder Woman, the elite Expat Andis Kaulins, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Junior, the blogger Andrew Cowlinch, pub owner Wally Dangle, pub owner Fred Minkleman, Wuxi Expatdom Armed Forces Commander Clarence Chugwater, Wuxi Expatdom Royal Air Force Marshall Gregory Peck, Sir Lawrence of Wuxi, Wuxi Expatdom Royal Navy Admiral Lloyd Bridges, Royal Wuxi Mounted Police Commissioner Harry Callahan, Royal Wuxi Mounted Police officer McNulty, Bruce Lee, and of course the redoubtable Archduke Harry Moore, you can't help but appear divine and god-like to Shanghai Expats.