Wuxi China Expatdom King Alec Guiness has given royal assent to a bill passed unanimously by the WCE Parliament authorizing the construction of a wall between the Wuxi and Suzhou Expatdoms.
At a ceremony officially proclaiming the bill's passage, His Majesty was joined by His Prime Minister the Naturist Herbert Demarcuse, His Leader of the Loyal Opposition the Nudist Handy Dandy Mahovolich, and the Leader of the Christian English Teaching Democrats, Dang Ling Modifier. The three leaders, who have come previously come to blows on the floor of parliament and in the parliamentary lockers and at Just-A-So-So's Pub, locked arms in an unprecedented show of tri-partisan agreement to build the wall and stem the tide of Suzhou Expats seeking to cure boredom by visiting the Wuxi Expatdom.
Not one peep of disapproval of the pending construction of the Wall could be heard among Wuxi Expats. Andis Kaulins, the elite Wuxi Expat who doesn't want anyone to mix him up with the Andis Kaulins who is an English teacher, said the passage of the bill approving construction of a Great Wall was "the best Christmas present that citizens of any sovereign area anywhere and at anytime in human history have received from their government!"
Wally Dangle, owner of the Pink Kitty Pub, celebrated news of the Wall's construction by having a week of free drinks for all who would come to his pub. He told WCE Blogspot of the many complaints that he and other Wuxi Expats had about visiting Suzhou Expats: "They don't wear shoes: they wear dirty underwear on their heads; they steal our e-bikes; they want to marry out cattle; they speak barbarous dialects of the universal Expat language like French, Ontario Canada English, and Mexican; none of them know classical Latin or Greek; they are fans of the films of Quentin Tarrantino; they wear beards and tattoos; they don't like country music; they think like Democrats; they think Jack Kerouac is literature; they complain about being victims; and they are pagans!"
Construction of the 10,000 mile long, 100 meter tall, Great Suzhou-Wuxi Wall which will coil around the Wuxi Expatdom 15 times, and which will have 50 caliber machine guns placed every 10 meters will begin on January 1, 2016 and be completed by March 15, 2016.
Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteI am always confused. Is Andis Kaulins, the Elite Expat, in no way related to Andis Kaulins, the English Teacher? And, someone told me that he is not related to another Andis Kaulins, apparently someone who digs in the desert. Andis Kaulins, the Elite Expat, he's a man, a man with the Midas touch.
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