Foster Brooks, President of the CDEA, personally conducted the survey, getting drunk in every expat pub in China, and the results of his survey were startling. "Only in the Wuxi China Expatdom, can one get drunk and not worry about being taken advantage by Expats seeking to satisfy their most craven desires. You get drunk in a Expat pub in Suzhou, Shanghai, or Kunming, and the chances are you are going to end up in some dark alley without your pants and with a feeling of being violated!" said Brooks.
Brooks attributed the safety of drunken Wuxi China Expats to the outstanding law enforcement of the Wuxi China Expatdom Police Square commanded by Chief Inspector Harry Callahan assisted by Officer McNulty. "They seem to know when and where something untoward may happen in the Expatdom like they have ESP. Drunken Expats know their limits here because of those two!"
Two patrons at the Gambay's Pub, named Lenny and Carl, disagreed with Brooks and attributed the safety drunken expats enjoyed in the Wuxi China Expatdom to its culture. "If ever the Wuxi China Expatdom had a motto it should be this: Drunken Expats helping and caring for Drunken Expats. Let's face it! Wuxi Expats just care more for their fellow drunk!" said the long-time friends in unison.
A drunken Expat I once encountered in Zhongshan, outside the Ba Bai Ban, told me that
ReplyDeletea drunk Expat once puked all over Harry Callahan's tan loafers.
But the drunken Expat, the one outside the Ba Bai Ban, was so drunk that he puked and then fell down on the ground, so I never found out what happened to that other puking Expat guy. Has anyone else heard what Harry Callahan did?
What did he do?
ReplyDelete( I am assuming this is a joke with a heavenly punch line.)