Wuxi Expat Blogger Andrew Cowlinch Wins the 2012 Wuxi Expat of the Year Award.

In the biggest upset since the Americans beat the Soviets in an Ice Hockey match in the 1980 Winter Olympics, Wuxi Expat Blogger Andrew Cowlinch, also known as Wussie Andrew, was named the 2012 Wuxi Expat of the Year.

The victory stunned the Wuxi China Expatdom, from the forests of Bosnia-Herzegovina to the red sands of the planet Mars, where most had expected either Archduke Sir Harry Moore or the crew of Zhanshen Six, the WCE mission to the planet Mars, to win.

Some Wuxi Expats not only expressed surprise at the announcement but also disgust. “Sure, Wussie Andrew's blogging, when he was assailing the dastardly former King of Wuxi, had been heroic in the manner of Our Lord giving his life on the cross for the sins of mankind.” said Cardinal Newman, the Bishop of the Wuxi China Expatdom, “but what has he done lately?”

“What has he done lately?” answered Wuxi Expat Pub Owner Sammy Dangle. “Taken overheard bits of conversation and use it against all expats to satirize them. I mean like come on! Not all Wuxi Expats are perverts, some Wuxi English Teachers care about their jobs! Some even know their English grammar! Why award this Cowlinch fellow for well-poisoning? He should be given drain cleaner to drink and sent back to his home country to do whatever it was he was doing there – sitting on the dole or delivering pizzas or something!”

Harry Moore admirers, a billion of who had gathered at the three Harry Moore Squares in Wuxi to celebrate the Archduke's expected victory, were needless to say, very disappointed. “We spent our life savings to be here on this night of nights – the night that Archduke Sir Harry Moore was to win the coveted Wuxi Expat of the Year Award.” said Warren Buffet and Bill Gates, billionaires from America. “All we have accomplished in life has now amounted to nothing. We demand an investigation!”

The Archduke, for his part was very philosophical about not winning. “I suppose I will have to try harder next year!” said the Archduke, who until the announcement was universally acclaimed as having had the greatest year of individual accomplishment in human history. “Either that, or the streak of success I was having had to come to an end!” added the Archduke who spoke via radio from the surface of Mars where he is now stationed with Zhanshen Six.

Blogger Andrew Cowlinch, after being named the 2012 Wuxi Expat of the Year, called his victory a victory for truth. “It is nice to see that the Wuxi Expat of the Year committee has the courage to award open-and-frank truthfulness. I guess that they, like me, were disgusted by the recent Obama election victory, and saw a need to award truth-telling!”