Wuxi Expat Pub's Caesar Salad to Have Gun-Shaped Croutons. Pub Owner Denies He Whips His Staff.

To celebrate the 2014 Year of the Firearm in Wuxi, China, The Pink Kitty Pub will be serving their Caesar salads with gun-shaped croutons. Wally Droop, Pink Kitty owner and manager, made the announcement at a packed news conference held on one of the tourist boats cruising the canal near the Nanchang Jie Bar Street.

“We have been working hard, over a year now, in the dungeons of the Pink Kitty to perfect these gun-shaped croutons.” said Droop. “Not only do these croutons now look like guns, they can also fire little crouton rounds. We are particularly proud of the croutons that look like Spencer Repeaters. Eating our Caesars will give our customers the sensation of having a mini firing range in one's mouth!”

Asked if the crouton bullets were dangerous, Droop said: “We have test-fired our crouton guns. We have determined that anything above a 44 caliber may cause some bleeding in the mouth.”

Asked if he had been harassing and exploiting his staff in order to get them to make the crouton-shaped guns, Droop became very angry and said that the screams that were heard to come from the dungeons of his pub were made by members of the Wuxi Expat Bondage Club who meet there during the pub's normal hours of operation. “I love my staff. I only beat the ones who find whipping to be pleasurable and are members in good standing of the Wuxi Expat Bondage Club.”

Droop then warned that the screams and whipping would seem to be louder during the Easter weekend because many Wuxi Expats would be reenacting the Passion of Christ in his dungeon as well.