Wuxi Expat English Teacher Association Elects Former Stripper to be Its President

The Wuxi Expat English Teacher Association (WEETA) has a new president.

WEETA elected Sugar Candy, a former stripper who teaches IELTS at Unforgettable English, to be its president at its annual convention which is being held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of Gambay's Pub in the 1912 Bar District. Candy succeeds Ivan Fence, a socialist and teacher at WOG English, who alienated ordinary Expats and human beings of decency by questioning their love of guns and freedom.

In her acceptance speech, Candy thanked the Sexpat faction of the WEETA for helping in her election. She then told the WEETA conventioneers what she saw her mandate as president to be:

“Me hope to improve better the life of English teachers who live in Wuxi. Too much money is what their need is. Me will do what I can to get a raise out of management of English schools. Me changely wants to make people know that us ET's are not dumb drunks who can't live in the real world that is back home. Me and Us wants to show everybody how we on WEETA can make the world and China better by doing the teaching of English in here at Wuxi. Also all yous and me together all want to mix up cultural barriers by building a bamboo bridge between cultures that are here and at other places which are there. You know, I saw a poor student in Wuxi one recent time and my eyes were full of tears because the student who I had see was so poorly in his English talking. I want to give a hug to them or he or she or they, whatever and however and how many there were! And an thing that is other. I want to have it so that the hours that WEETA workers work at school isn't too much. We are always so tiring that some of us went to home and neither go to the bar where we can relax. I also want to make sure that people who ain't normal like woman and people who don't happen to be old and from Countries who speak English can be too as well teachers be also! Never just nerdies and old grandpas! Thank you much! Bless God! Bless the majestic Gorzo King in the Wuxi China Expatdom! May his power rain on us without wetness! Bless WEETA! Happy English Teaching all of everyday that we teach! Those of you who aren't here, to please pass on this message!”

Candy's speech seemed to be well received by the audience of WEETA members, many of whom screamed and hooted so loudly that Candy's words were not heard, so that they could only be read afterward when Candy gave a copy of her speech to members of the media.