British Dambusters Squadron Apologises to Wuxi Expat Blogger Andrew Cowlinch

     A substantial number of British Expatriates in the WCE are lining-up to display remorse
to an Expatdom English teacher, Andrew Cowlinch.

        Sole-surviving member of 617 Squadron, the famed 'Dambusters', Sir Willoughby "Spider" Webb DFC, DSO and Bar (right) today issued a strongly-worded statement expressing "extreme
regret".   Wing Commander Webb explained that he and he and his flying-colleague chaps (above) had no idea that a small number of "blighters, beggars, and anti-social un-British degenerates" had brought shame upon them in 2012.  "They insulted Andrew! Unacceptable, cowardly behaviour."

      Wing-Co Webb said that without the emotional and moral support of Andrew Cowlinch, they couldn't have completed their mission in 1944.  "The Hun had us down for the count! So, I turned to the chaps, in the 1912 Bar District, and said, 'look chaps, what would Andrew Cowlinch and the peoples of the WCE,  Canada, and the rest of the Free World say if they knew we had lost our bottle??!".


"The lads were so demoralised by then, it wounded my heart", Webb said. "I handed-out mugs of traditional English ale for every crew-member. I had to rouse their flagging spirits somehow. I yelled at them: "Chaps, do you want your children to see Hermann Goering on the Tonight Show every night?"  Back came their roar, "No!".

"Chaps", I continued, "do you want your children's children to be doing engine repairs on VolksWagens for the next two centuries?"   "No!!", they screamed as one.

"Chaps", I yelled, "do you want your mothers, fathers and sisters to lose their
British bull-dogginess?".   An ear-splitting "NO!!" resounded.

"But chaps", I continued, "as we all know, things are very tough now, here in the 1912 Bar District in early 1944. However, even though it hasn't happened yet, in around 60 year's from now, others will come here, to the Wuxi China Expatdom. From every far-flung corner of the British realm. From every one of our so-distant dominions, places like Australia, Canada, and New Zealand. 

"And, amongst them will be their living jewels, people from every walk of life, including English teachers.
They'll be be fine upright, strapping men too. Men with names like, 'Andrew', and 'Andis'.
"So lads!  We'll give those future English teachers, who haven't been born yet, something to remember us by!.  "To the skies, chaps, and we'll hit Jerry for once and for all!!".

"By then I knew we'd clinched it", he said. "Invoking the names of Andrew Cowlinch and Andis Kaulins stiffened our resolve, and so, -  we won the war.   "I cannot say-enough to apologise for that disgraceful, unseemly language used by some of my (unworthy), and, it pains me, nay, behoves me, to call them,  'countrymen'!".


This Saturday Wing Commander Webb will lead a flypast of 12,434 Lancaster bombers, complete with fully-fused bouncing bombs, in salute to Andrew Cowlinch, and the WCE.  Veterans expect that the shattering roar of that many Merlin engines will bring the Expatdom to a standstill, however
around one billion British Expats, with Union Jacks unfurled, are expected to gather outside Andrew's residence in Hui Shan to witness the spectacle.
"Following our little fly-past", added the Wing Commander, "the chaps are going to root-out those craven, disgraced English cads, and then we will publicly and flamboyantly piss in their pockets!", he chortled heartily.