Three million Wuxi China Expats attend 44th annual "The Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup" celebrations.

Three million Wuxi China Expats attended the 44th annual Wuxi China Expatdom "The Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup" celebrations which were this year held at Gambay's Pub in the 1912 Bar District.

Singing "Nah Nah Nah, Nah, Hey Hey Good Bye!"; "1967", and "Leafs suck", the raucous crowd ate, drank specially brewed "The Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup" honey lager, and participated in charity events with proceeds going to "The Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup" Children's Hospital, "The Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup" orphanage, "The Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup" free prosthetics clinic, "The Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup" society for the prevention of cruelty to animals, and "The Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup" cancer lab.

Notables attending the celebrations included: Pope Benedict XVI who called the Leafs string of futility a blessed event; Clint Eastwood who thanked the Leafs for being everything he didn't want to be; Pamela Anderson wearing a t-shirt boldly stating "The Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup", German Chancellor Andrea Merkel, Jennifer Lopez wearing sweat pants provocatively stating "The Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup", Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, former Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd wearing a shirt saying "The Toronto Maples did win the Stanley Cup" in Chinese, and Wuxi China Expatdom Queen Ayira who is fan of the Montreal Canadiens.

Organizers of the event, Guy Lafleur and Serge Savard, said the celebrations were late this year because of the Wuxi China Expatdom contingent mission to capture the Ayatollah of Mordor, a Maple Leafs fan and former King of Wuxi. Said Lafleur: "Normally, we like to hold da celebrations at end of da regular season because da Leafs, you see, usually don't make da playoffs. Moise Tabernac! This year, we could have held da celebration in February, da Leafs were bad even by da their standards. But most of us was interested to see da King and da Queen and da Dirty Harry get da former evil King!"

Guest of honour at the celebration was Norm Bethune, founder of the celebration and the only person to have attended all forty four annual "Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup" celebrations in the Wuxi Expatdom. Said long-time Wuxi Expat Bethune, "I remember how terrible it was to be in Wuxi in the spring and summer of '68. The Cultural Revolution was in full force. And we had received news of the assassinations of Martin Luther King and Robert F. Kennedy. The only good news at that time was hearing that the Toronto Maple Leafs had finished in fifth place in the East Division and so didn't qualify for the playoffs. Of course, it wasn't till July 68 that we had a party to celebrate this fact. But every year since then, with the exception of this glorious spring of 2011, have we celebrated the end of each Maple Leaf non-championship season in April or early May."

Arriving late at the party to pick up his wife Queen Ayira, the King of the Wuxi China Expatdom Gorzo the Mighty brought incredible euphoria to the party by announcing plans to build a 88,888m tall statue of a Buddha wearing a shirt stating "The Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup," and the commissioning of three new aircraft carriers for the Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy: The WCERN The Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup, the WCERN The Toronto Maple Leafs didn't win the Stanley Cup again, and the WCERN The Toronto Maple Leafs haven't won the Stanley Cup since 1967.