Wuxi China Expatdom celebrates Fred Astaire's Birthday.

Another day; another holiday for Wuxi China Expats.

 

Gorzo the Mighty, King of the Wuxi China Expatdom, declared Fred Astaire's birthday (May 10) a holiday.  Said Gorzo, "Fred Astaire is the greatest dancer the Wuxi China Expatdom has ever produced.  And in saying this, I mean no disrespect to Harry Moore.  "Twinkle Toes" Moore, no doubt, was a great dancer.  But, let's face it!   Moore's true talents are as a sex symbol, a philosopher, and a master prose stylist.  I also mean no disrepect to Andis Kaulins, who though technically a better dancer than Astaire, was never the complete entertainment package.  Astaire could dance, sing, play musical instruments, and do light comedy.  Moore and Kaulins also have never danced with Mango, or rather Ginger Rodgers.  Astaire and Mango, or rather Ginger Rodgers, made those great movies and for a short time, the Wuxi China Expatdom was the musical movie capital of the world -- that is, till the onset of the dark times (2004 - 2010) when the then King of Wuxi, a.k.a. the Ayatollah of Mordor, forced our movie industry to make grade "b" science fiction, slasher, and chocolate caramel movies.  Forced onto the streets, Astaire never let the humilation imposed on him by the Ayatollah dampered his spirits.  Always the natural aristocrat, his body spewing out excess grace and class, he used his dancing to perk many the spirit of a Wuxi Expat in bondage.  Astaire then played a key role in the battle of Hui Shan District where a defeated Ayatollah of Mordor, his tail betwixt his legs, fled to the New District and then to Winnipeg.  And of course who can not forget Astaire running for five touchdowns against the 1985 Super Bowl Champion Chicago Bears who challenged the Wuxi Red Guards for the all-time professional football championship!"

 

To further honor Fred Astaire, the Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy Aircraft Carrier Fred Astaire will be decommissioned and turned into a museum, convention center, and skating rink in the 1912 Bar District.  Also, Gambay's Pub will create a special Fred Astaire shooter, called the Top Hat, a mixture of champagne, grenadine, and diamond dust served in a mini glass top hat.