Joe Blow Sixpack, Wuxi China Expatdom Minister of Public Works, announced the completion of the billion zillion trillion long Russel Stead Expressway -- the world's longest paved road. The Expressway which took five years to build is two miles longer than the previous claimant to being the world's longest paved road: the Trans Harry Moore Highway, which in turn was a million miles longer than the Bull Drummond Bypass, the previous previous claimant to being the world's long paved road which in turn was five miles longer than the previous previous previous claimant to being the world's longest paved road: ............
The Russell Stead Expressway will link downtown Wuxi China Expatdom to the bottom of Andis Kaulins's pockets which are reputed to be deeper than the universe is long. The Expressway will be equipped with super-duper atomic accelerators and counter-vailing space-time continium reverse thrusters that will allow one to go to from the bottom of Andis's Kaulins pockets in only half a lifetime while at the same time ensuring that one has a chance of seeing one's relatives when one returns.
The Russell Stead Expressway will be officially opened at a ceremony during which his Majesty, the captor of the Ayatollah of Mordor, Grand Imperial Vizier of the Azanian Empire, the true liberator of Hans Island, the Consort to Queen Ayira: the Chosen One, King of the Expatdom of Wuxi China, Gorzo the Mighty will cut a ribbon.
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