They came by bus. They came by foot. They came crawling on their stomachs.
An estimated 3 billion Naturists - predominantly English teachers, gathered in the Wuxi China Expatdom today. As the WCEDVDAS Civil War continues to escalate, WCE peaceniks joined with buff-naked Expats from all corners of the Expatdom's far-flung Colonies.
Their objective was to prevail upon English Teacher Andis Kaulins to
act as spokesman and leader in their anti-war stance. Converging at the intersection of Xuegian and Zhongshan Roads - the WCE's epicentre of greatness, equivalent to Times Square, the multitude proudly exposed their loins and proceeded to Andis Kaulin's Ivy League Varsity Faculty, hoping to persuade him to join their cause, and to employ his peerless skills in negotiating an armistice.
The Naturist's leader, Rory Calhoun, from the Bengbu Expatdom Colony, said that Andis Kaulins was the best, and only, personage who could restore peace.
"His tact, his diplomacy, his mastery of oratory", said Calhoun, "and his
unmatched conciliatory, sensitive, prudent, suave and artful qualities make Andis Kaulins our chosen emissary. And, add to all that his expertise with demonstrative pronouns, intransitive verbs, subordinate clauses, peripheral adjectives, inverse modal auxillaries, and, best of all, bare infinitive clauses, make Andis Kaulins The Great Communicator who, alone, can succeed in this mission".
But the throng was in for a rude, nude shock. At the granite-columned portal of the Faculty, the Idamizer - Royal Keeper of All Lists, told them that
they were too late. "Andis Kaulins has taken a sabbatical", she explained. "He has removed his pants, taken his board, and has gone to the Beixhing Expatdom to go surfing".
The conflict rages on......
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