Ask a Wuxi Expat #3: Wuxi English Teacher Duston Short

Duston Short, has been  described as the English Teacher who gives all other English Teachers in Wuxi a bad name because of his notorious tardiness and laziness. These traits combined with his Jabba the Hut like physique and facial features have earned him the contempt of many -- one blogger described him as human garbage.  

Short's defenders say that he is a victim and thus should be cut some slack.

The WCE Blog took the time to interview Duston Short at a McDonald's Restaurant near the latest school to have hired him.

In a relaxed mood, wearing shorts and dressed in his signature Batman t-shirt,  Short was working his way through the twenty cheeseburgers he had ordered.

WCE Blog:  What time do you start work today?

DS:  Oh!  I doesn't know!  Maybe, one o'clock I are supposed to start.  [It is one twenty on the interviewer's watch]  But it doesn't matter if me am a little later.  Eating cheeseburgers very important!

  

WCE Blog:  Why is it that you can't hold a job for more than a few months at any of the schools you have taught?

DS:  It's not fair.  Me have a uncle who are always dying so you think people would be is nice to I!

WCE Blog:  How many schools have you worked at?

DS:  I doesn't know.  Maybe 25.

WCE Blog:  Is it true that you were late for class one day and so you eat cheeseburgers in class?

DS:  Which me supposed to do?  Me was late and has had much burgers to eating.

WCE Blog:  Why are you in Wuxi?

DS:  Me wants the Wuxi people to learns Western Party how to's.

WCE Blog:  Why do you teach English?

DS:  Me doesn't really. Me goes there to the school for just talking.  What Me knows about English?  Me gaves them a fake diploma anyhow.  And plus Me needs the Visa.

WCE Blog:  What do you like to do in your free time?

DS:  Oh!  Question good!  Reads comic books and plays X-Box games.

WCE Blog:  What is the difference between the Passive and Active voice?

DS:  Known by I it is not.

WCE Blog:  What is verb-subject agreement?

DS:  Me doesn't knows what that are.  

WCE Blog:  When to use the infinitive or the gerund?

DS:  Me wants to learning how doing this.

WCE Blog:  A lot of other Wuxi Expats think you are a joke.  What do you say to this?

DS:  I doesn't know.  Me think only Wally Droop don't liked me.

WCE Blog:  What three words would you use to describe Wuxi.

DS:  I doesn't know.  Give I time for to think.  [ten minutes passes]  What was the question?

WCE Blog:  What advice do you have for English Teachers coming to Wuxi?

DS:  Don't be with Andrew Cowlinch.

WCE Blog:  Andrew Cowlinch?

DS:  On Internet, he say me large fat and lazy.  Not nice.  I told him I call a lawyer.  Why do people yell at me!  Wah!!!!!

WCE Blog:  Thank you for your time.

DS:  Oh kay!