One Million Shanghai Expats paraded down Shanghai's Nanjing Road on Monday to thank the Wuxi China Expatdom for the gift of fire.
The gift of fire is just one of the many gifts of civilized life that Shanghai Expats have received since becoming a colony of the Wuxi China Expatdom in 2011. Shanghai Expats have been introduced to many other aspects of civilization including houses with roofs, toilets, clothes, the wheel, shoes, tools and pointy sticks. But none of these benefits of civilization has been as popular with Shanghai Expats as fire.
Ogg, who works in Shanghai as a financial consultant and took part in the parade, told the WCE Blog that fire has made his food taste so much better. "Before! Food no good!" said Ogg. "Now it is good!"
Moggo, a German Engineer working in Shanghai who also took part in in the parade, told the WCE Blog that he likes how fire keeps him warm in January and February in Shanghai. "Before! Me cold!" said Moggo. "Now me can be warm all year!"
Ugho, who teaches English in Shanghai, told the WCE Blog that he wanted to thank the WCE Sisters of Charity for their help in learning how to use fire. "Mother Teresa show me how it is better to hold food over fire with a stick than using my hands! Now I not burn my hands!" said Ugho.
Besides thanking the Wuxi China Expatdom for fire, the Shanghai Expats also tried to perform some Prisyadka Dancing and to see if they could break the Wuxi China Expatdom record for world's longest ever conga party line. Medical personnel had to be called in to treat the estimated one hundred thousand Shanghai Expats who injured themselves trying the dance. The injuries and the inability of Shanghai Expats to understand the concept of standing in a line resulted in a cancellation of an attempt to form a Conga Line.
Down in the 1912 Bar District, this has been a matter that has been frequently talked about, ever since 2012.
ReplyDeleteSome of the really smart bar patrons, (and there are many there) say that we should be worried about the Shanghai Expatdom. Those expert-people say that if the Shanghai Expats keep progressing then very soon that they might threaten us. If they discover the wheel, and then maybe the steam engine, well, next thing they'll be building dangerous military stuff.
One bar patron, who is a professor, says that the Shanghai Expats will flood the WCE with cheap things, such as ashtrays, counterfeit beer, and other things that will take jobs away from us here in the WCE.
So eventually the rising Shanghai super-Expatdom could maybe give us lots of trouble.
We really hope that the city fathers in the WCE know all about this?
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DeleteMr. Waddle. With all due respect, I am afraid you are as wet as a raincoat in a hurricane.
DeleteThinking of other nations that could conceivably compete with the WCE like England, the United States, Germany, the old Soviet Union, the Roman Empire, and the China of the Ming Dynasty, has any of them put men and women on Mars, have twenty aircraft carriers, developed amphibious aircraft carriers, erected 20 kilometer high statues to their great men and women, achieved two million percent gdp growth in one year, built stadiums capable of accommodating six million people so that they all have perfect sight lines, and have even half a person as great as the twenty greats of the WCE?
I should think not.
If the Shanghaiists ever get out of the stone age or the iron age or the cotton age or the loincloth age that they are in, we can easily bomb them back to their rightful primitive state without raising a sweat