Wuxi Expat Pub Seeks a More Masculine Clientle

The Apple Blossom Pub, a pub for Expats on the Nanchang Jie Bar Street, says it would like to get a more masculine clientele.

Owner and Manager Chad Tanner-Watson, in an exclusive interview with the WCE Blog, said that his clientele haven't been as big and burly and handsome as he hoped they would be when he opened his pub three months ago.  "All we seem to attract are English Teachers who don't spend much money, or those who have lots of time to go to the gym.  Sure, the teachers who work out are fit and nice to look at, but they are just pretty boys.  And their "progressive" manner of speaking makes me squeamish. I want a clientele that does tactile things and works with its hands, doing God's work as it were.  Not these literary preening affect-less talking leftists who frequent my pub now!"

To attract more manly Alpha-male customers, Tanner-Watson told the WCE Blog that he was going to put individual stalls in the pub's shower facilities, and make sure each bar of soap was on a rope so the patrons couldn't drop them.  "I always wondered what soap on a rope was for!" said Tanner-Watson.  

Appealing to virile types with high levels of testosterone, Tanner-Watson said he would make his drink list more like the drinks offered at a Western Saloon.  "No more fruity drinks and weak American Beer in here!  Whiskey in straight shots from now on! said Tanner-Watson.  

The Apple Blossom Manager also said he would change his pub's decor and atmosphere.  "I will make the walls a darker color   Apple-green reminds everyone of yucky Tai Hu Algae.  I will also play harder music.  No more Sunshine and Lollipops!

Finally, Tanner Watson said that every night at his pub there would be a theme night catering to real men.  "Monday is Bull Balls Night.  Tuesday is Gun & Ammo Night.  Wednesday is Ronald Reagan Appreciation Night.  Thursday is Harry Callahan Beat up a Punk or a Bolshevik Night.  Friday is Muscle Car Night.  Saturday is Bar Girls Bouncing on Trampolines Night.  Sunday is NFL Football Appreciation Day.  Every one of these nights, patrons will have chances to win power tools, hammers, nails, tool belts, guns, fishing tackle and high horse-powered off road vehicles!"

The Apple Blossom Pub will be closed for renovation till October 31.  "Be sure to bring you welding masks and rifles to opening night!" said Tanner-Watson.