Uncle Vanya Nokimov, recently-arrived from Russia to comfort his exchange student nephew, Little Ollie, has left the WCE, a mere twelve hours after arriving.
The troubles arose after the Russian caused a near-riot in the WCE's foremost bar, Gambays.
Senior bartender of Gambays, Sir Alec Guiness, said that Uncle Vanya was irksome as soon as he entered the bar. "He marched in here arm-in-arm with two baboons, and we straightaway realised that he was a troublemaker", Sir Alec said.
Uncle Vanya then ordered - and consumed - six bottles of Smirnoff. Although capable of only-limited English, Uncle Vanya swore at everyone; complained bitterly that he'd been unable to
find any borscht-eateries in the WCE, and thus had been forced to eat gruel.
Sir Alec said that Uncle Vanya had taken both his shoes off and banged them, repeatedly, on the bar. "We had to throw him out, and he has been banned-for-life." Members of WCE's Russian diaspora said they wanted nothing to do with Uncle Vanya.
An embarassed Iggy Poop, Leader of the Nudist Party, said that he'd informed Uncle Vanya that he should immediately leave the Expatdom, or face deportation. "He left this afternoon, and is believed to be en route back to his Russian motherland, via the trans-Siberian railway".
Iggy Poop said that Uncle Vanya had guested only one night with he and his wife in their apartment. "We're very glad to see the back of him. He smelt pretty-awful, and it will take us at least a week to rid our place of several thousand fleas that Uncle Vanya brought in on him."
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