Admiral Lloyd Bridges, commander of the WCERN Steamboat Joseph Conrad, in an exclusive interview with Orient Express, done via satellite phone, has revealed that it was crew member WCE Inspector Harry Callahan who was injured when their boat was ambushed by lard-arrow shooting ruffians. The Joseph Conrad is currently cruising the Assiniboine River to Winnipeg to apprehend the former King of Wuxi, the Ayatollah of Mordor, who is wanted in connection with crimes that have been committed against good taste and chocolate in the Wuxi China Expatdom.
Said Admiral Bridges, "Callahan's two legs, right arm, and fibula were broken in the ambush. However, Callahan is not letting this stop him from doing all the heavy duties on the steamboat. In fact, Callahan, using his one good arm, was able to capture all the ruffians who ambushed us. They have provided useful intelligence about where the Ayatollah of Mordor is currently hiding."
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