Sunday, April 8, 2012

Wuxi Expat Pub Owner denies that he is exploiting his alcoholic customers

Wally Droop, a Wuxi Expat and the owner of the Chestnut and Walnut Pubs, denies allegations that he is exploiting his alcoholic customers and says that if anyone says these allegations to his face again, he will show them what's up with his fists.

"In fact, my customers are like family to me!" says Droop, who has been married four times and cannot return to his home country because he will be put in jail for polygamy.  "If I do exploit them, and that is a very, very marginal "if," it would only be in a sexual sense.  But then these lonely pathetic alcoholics want it anyway so how I could be exploiting them?"  Droop is famous and infamous for always fondling his male customers.

Droop tells the WCE Blog, as well, that  the dungeons and the handcuffs that are known to be on the premises of his pubs are only there for adult kinky fun, and that they are not used to lock up alcoholic customers who had yet to pay.  "I did do that before." admits Droop.  "That is , I did experiment with locking up the alcoholics and making them do menial tasks to pay off their bar tabs, but some of them needed to be fed and a lot of them thought of dungeons as free room and board.  So I don't imprison alcoholics anymore.  What I do do is I rent out the handcuffs and dungeons to the Wuxi China Expatdom Feminist Sexpat Alliance for political meetings!"

Droop says he deals with alcoholics now by setting the prices of his drinks super high to discourage them from drinking.  "If that doesn't stop them, I don't put so much salt in the food we serve! And if worse comes to worst, I throw them in the canal out back!"

Droop blamed Andis Kaulins, the English teacher, for circulating the allegations of alcoholic exploitation.  "I don't know why that guy has it in for me!" lamented Droop.

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