Tens of Millions of Men around the world apply to join the Wuxi China Expatdom Foreign Legion.

The Wuxi China Expatdom Foreign Legion, specifically created for foreign nationals wishing to serve in the Wuxi China Expatdom Military, has always been a popular choice for men seeking adventure, trying to forget about romance gone sour, or unable to return to their country for fear of being put in prison. Commanded by WCE officers, the WCEFL has also been a means for many an idealistic but violent young man, who believes in the right of people to chocolate, to try to make a real difference in the world.

It is this idealism that has lead to a mania among men all over the world to apply to join the Legion. News of the mission to bring the notorious former King of Wuxi, a.k.a. the Ayatollah of Mordor, to answer for his crimes in a WCE Court of Justice, has seen applications to join the Legion increase by a factor of a hundred.

Sergeant York, a recruiter for the WCEFL's Osaka Japan office, says that he has seen mile long lineups of applicants outside his office the past week.

General Mills, head of WCEFL recruiting, estimates that worldwide, at least three hundred million men (and some women) have filled out applications to join the legion in the last two days. Said Mills, "The stories I have heard of the heartbreak and inconvenience that the Ayatollah of Mordor had caused many of the applicants friends and acquaintances, during his tyrannical reign as the King of Wuxi, has been heart-wrenching. But at the same time, I am made hopeful by the determination of all applicants to see that the former King of Wuxi is brought to justice. We are going to have a hard time, paring down the applicants to a select force of ten million. It has been our policy to welcome all applicants with open arms, but it may have to change because of the sheer volume of them."

One applicant, Egons Asklavins, from Riga, Latvia, offered a horrifying account of "The Ayatollah of Mordor and his gang of dandyish young thugs" coming to his house to steal all his family's lard and dark chocolate. Said Aklanvins, "We were happy in those days. We had lard and chocolate to satisfy all our family's needs. But the Mordorian gang came to our home, and accused us of hoarding the lard and chocolate from the people. They took all our lard and chocolate, and then had the audacity to rub the lard and chocolate all over their bodies at an invitation-only party held in the main public square of our city!"

Another applicant, Hector Garragula, from Morden, Manitoba, said a Mordorian gang lead by the Ayatollah came to his house on Easter stealing all his Cadbury eggs. They tied us up and we forced to watch them eat all the chocolate that was supposed to be for the children. Because of this, I very much want to join the WCE Foreign Legion. I think about the good cause I will be supporting, and of course, the Wuxi China Expatdom Foreign Legion uniform, with all its charm. And if they turn me down once, I will apply again. I think you know where I stand. Yes sir, it is the Wuxi China Expatdom Foreign Legion for me!"