well-known WCE amateur astronomer Phil "Big" Foote,
expounded on his recent discovery that has sent shock-waves
throughout the global scientific establishment.
"My evidence-backed theory is elegant in it's simplicity", he
said modestly. "There are no fast-food franchises on Mars - thus
there is no life there!".
"I spent years in my Wuxi apartment gazing up at the planets and stars,
with my Newtonian-scope, but I eventually realised I was actually looking at the ceiling!".
"I then shifted my attention to scrutinising all those NASA images sent back
from Mars", he continued, "well, lots and lots of red rocks. And more red rocks."
"No, I had to apply some lateral-thinking, I decided".
"Almost every night I was sitting here drinking in Gambay's, pouring-over scientific texts, but, nup, nothing there either".
"But just last week", he said, "I fell off my bicycle on Beidajie Lu, just near the Huili Plaza.
Getting-up from the pavement, there it was, staring me in the face.....KFC!"
Ok, so, in those NASA Mars rock photos, can you see a single KFC outlet?, a Papa John's?,
or any Hot Pot outlets?!" "'Course not. I do hypothesize that in some ancient times,
those Mars life-forms had nothing to eat and they simply went belly-up. That's my discovery, in a nutshell".
"I will be equated with Sir Isaac Newton now. My bicycle-crash was exactly the same
as when he had that apple fall on his noggin!".
I can't decide if this guy is a genius or a crank. But that is the way it has always been with controversial scientific pronouncements.
ReplyDeletePre-eminent space scientist and rocketologist,
ReplyDeleteWernher Von Braun said that he is not yet able
to comment on the WCE astronomer's theory.
"I haf spent all weekend doing a peer-review of Mr Foote's paper. I haf a tiny problem with this. Herr Foote's postulations make no reference to the irrigation canals that were excavated on the planet Mars".
"So, for now, I am haffing an open-mind", Prof von Braun said, speaking from his home, on the Moon.