Andis Kaulins Bares His Soul; The Archduke Harry Moore Interview

  As the countdown to the Lake Taihu Big Wave Pro Am Sufing Event ticks by, Andis Kaulins graciously consented to a warts-and-all interview with Archduke Harry Moore.

Moore:  Good morning, Andis, thank you so much for sparing me, and the Expatdom's 22 million readers,
             some of your precious time to come in and talk.
Kaulins:  s'nothing

Moore: If I may be a little presumptuous here, could we dispense with our formal titles in this interview?
            That is, no "Archdukeness", nor 'Sir Andis', etc, . Are you comfortable with that, Andis?
Kaulins: Sure!  Actually, I'd be even more comfortable if you'd come around this side of the desk
             and sit beside me.
Moore: (glances around nervously). Uhh, well I'd better stay here for now as I need to refer to your                           biographical notes, and other prepared questions I have here.
Kaulins: No problemo.

Moore: Andis, something that both I, and many Expats have been curious about is that you've achieved
            every major award for big-wave surfing on Earth, yet, you are a native-son of Canada. It is just
            that we don't usually associate Canada with beaches, and surfing.?
Kaulins:  Thats a common misconception, Harry. Growing up in Canada, I never had any difficulty
              finding a place to hang-ten. I made my first board when I was 9, and, went on to
              collect the laurels in the Calgary Pipeline, when I was 18.
Moore:  Tell me, which is your favourite sufing location? I'd presume you'd nominate Waimea Bay,
              Makahaha, or Tekapo, as well as Lake Taihu of course?
Kaulins:  All of those. And, as you'd know, I've always done well at championships on the Vistula,
              the Danube, and in the Xihui Park lake. Harry, could you spare me a Nanjing Hong, please?
Moore: Sure. (Andis Kaulins takes the cigarette pack). Remarkable.  I have an image of the well-known,                 and, some would say 'notorious' surfing counterculture. Did you, earlier in your professional career                 ever have a flirataion with that lifestyle?
Kaulins:  Oh, no way, Jose'!   I never bleached my hair.
Moore:  Drugs?
Kaulins:  (blushes) I have to confess that I sometimes take a couple of aspirin.

Moore: Another feature of the pro-surfing circuit is the large number of lithe, beautiful, curvaceous,
            and desirable women that follow the big-names around. Have you ever suffered their unwanted                     attentions?
Kaulins:  Suffered?  Heck no! I quite enjoyed them!
Moore: Could you elucidate?
Kaulins: There's no formula for happiness, that's guaranteed to work. It all depends on how you treat your                   friends, and how much you've been hurt. But it's a start, when you open up your heart.
Moore: That's a wonderful answer!
Kaulins: (chortles) No, it was a wonderful question. Can you spare me a Marlboro, please, Harry?
Moore: What has everyone, both here and around the globe, in suspense is how you intend to handle your
             rival, Laird Hamilton, this weekend. But is he, in fact, your 'rival'?
Kaulins:  Not exactly. Pretender to the throne, would be more accurate.
Moore:  Both you and Laird are North Americans, and superb specimens of masculinity. One magazine
            described it as 'muscular Christianity'.  Could there be some mutual, professional respect there?  For              example, after a big-wave competition, when you're both in the showers, is there any playful banter,              or, hehehe, towel-flicking each other's butts, perhaps? (chortles)
Kaulins: No, you see, -  there's no dreamer who's ever dreamed, and seen it all come true. Takes a lot of                   time and breaks a lot of hearts, to see an idea through. Got any Chungwa's on you?
Moore:  (take the pack, AK)   So, maybe there IS a grudging admiration there, between you two?
Kaulins: Love's just a simple word, it's truth is eas'ly lost. And sorry's said so easily, nobody
             counts the cost. Give your love to others, they become your bro-o-other. You open up your heart.
Moore: (fumbles, and fidgets with pen)  Sublime eloquence there, Andis.
Kaulins: You can say that again!
Moore: Sublime....  Ahh,  well, I'd better let you get back to your gruelling training regime. Unless there
             is anything else you want to say to the Wuxi Expats, before the fierce contest at Taihu?
Kaulins: Not really, except that you open up your heart, come on, make a start. Try not to hide,
             what you feel insi-i-de - just open up your heart. There's no formula for happiness, that's guaranteed
             to work.
Moore: Thank-you so very much again, Andis, and good-luck for Saturday!
Kaulins: The pleasure was mine. Oh, Harry, would you have any Lucky Strikes on you?
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