Thursday, March 13, 2014

Laird Hamilton Interview Bombshell: "I'm Outta Here!"



         
     (Note: Interview video incorrectly titled)
Laird Hamilton, arch-rival to Andis Kaulins in the Taihu Big Wave Pro Am, has shocked the planet
in an interview recorded only  minutes ago. Speaking to the Wuxi China Expatdom's charming television presenter, Tiffany Paige, Hamilton indicated that he is unlikely to continue in this weekend's competition.

- Archduke Harry Moore was present at the interviw, which enabled him to make a first-person assessment of Hamilton's stunning news. Moore, the Expatdom's consultant-raconteur, and
 GKA (general know-all), said:-  "Laird speaks in a subtext in this conversation. What he says, is NOT what he means".

- Archduke Moore, an experienced interpreter of body-language and semiotics, also holds
qualifications in:-
- psychology, sociology, phenology, sitology, pteradactylology, gynaecology, anthropology, gastroenterology, expatology, as well as apology,  gave this explanation:-

"I was standing quite close to Laird. His posture, voice-tone, and metaphors, tell a different story than what is heard here. He stated that he is "very worried", was looking for his friends, and expressed a desire to go hunting for plastic.

"It was clear from his rolling eye movements and pronounced nervous chortling that Laird has no stomach for tackling any big waves at Lake Taihu, nor sparring with Andis Kaulins. Laird makes it quite obvious. Pressed for his tips in this weekend's competition, Laird could only stammer 'I have to take care of myself '.

- "In short, I'd say that Andis Kaulins may romp it in now, in the absence of any genuine competition."

- Wuxi Big Wave organisers are currently meeting behind closed doors, and, although Andis Kaulins may have Lake Taihu to himself, Expats are anticipating a spectacular display from the local-favourite English Teacher after weather experts forecast mammoth swells of around 120 feet at Taihu in the next 12 hours.


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