Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Wuxi China Contingent apprehends the Ayatollah of Mordor.

Faster than one could say "Operation Get the Ayatollah out of his hole!", the Wuxi China Expatdom Contingent of Gorzo the Mighty, Ayira: The Chosen One, Harry Callahan, and Fred Minkleman, got the Ayatollah out of his hole, Admiral Lloyd Bridges told Wuxi's Orient Express in an exclusive interview from Winnipeg, Canada.

Said Bridges:  "It was easy as pie to get the Ayatollah out of his hole.  The Contingent had Fred Minklemen, with his talent for mimcry, sing the theme song for the Royal Winnipeg Ballet Musical Snouts and Entrails"

Clearing his throat, Bridges began to sing the song:

Snouts and Entrails!
It is the good food emotion!
Snouts and Entrails!
It is the full-body rub-down solution!
Snouts and Entrails!
It is the hungry man's best notion!
Yes!  Snout and Entrails,
and all it entails for the man who has a craving
for caramel, chocolate, pork chops, and apples!
I gotta to have my Snouts and Entrails!

Continued, the Admiral:  "Those lyrics, as sung by Minkleman, accompanied by Ayira on violin, and Gorzo on piano, make it was so hard for the Ayatollah to resist.  the former King of Wuxi climbed out of his hole and wanted to dance.  Callahan cuffed him.  The Ayatollah mumbled something along the lines of "The Horror!  The Horror!  The contingent didn't know what he was talking about till Callahan extracted a full rotisserie chicken from the Ayatollah's mouth.  With an empty mouth, the Ayatollah said it was horrible that he had been captured."

Asked what was to be done with the Ayatollah, now that he was in custody the Admiral said: "The plan now is to take him to CFB Shilo where he will be put on the WCERN Air Craft Carrier Fred Astaire.  The Fred Astaire will then take him to the Guantanamo Detention Center 2 on Hans Island which the Canadian Government was kind enough to let us use as the venue for the Ayatollah's eventual trial."

1 comment:

  1. Guantanamo Detention Centre 2 is a fitting pen for him. From all reports, they don't pussy-foot
    around in there!

    I'd assume that Insp Callahan will carry-out a full body-search (yuck!) to ensure that the Ayatollah hasn't secreted more chicken or chocolate anywhere (ugggh!), lest he try to bribe his way to freedom - ?

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