Wuxi China Expatdom to hold massive Bloomsday Celebrations

At a press conference held at the Raymond Chandler Pavilion and Buffet Room of Gambay's Pub in the 1912 Bar District of Wuxi China, the Minister of Literature for the Wuxi China Expatdom John Eric Ruston Bellow Richler Saul Hemingway Waugh Blair announced the Expatdom's plans to celebrate Bloomsday 2011. 

 

Bloomsday is a commemoration observed annually on June 16th in Dublin and elsewhere to celebrate the life of Irish writer James Joyce and relive the events in his novel Ulysses, all of which took place on the same day in Dublin in 1904.

 

Observers say that the plans, that have been announced by Minister Eric Ruston Bellow Richler Saul Hemingway Waugh Blair, if carried through, would see the WCE  host the greatest Bloomsday Celebrations in all of human history.

 

All three of the Expatdom's Harry Moore Squares -- the Gold, Diamond, and Platinum -- will be used to accommodate the one billion Expats expected to attend Bloomsday 2011.  At the squares, attendees can watch James Joyce look-a-like contests, memorize Joyce competitions, eat authentic Dublin food as purchased by Leopold Bloom,  and see re-enactments of the steamier parts of the novel's final chapter. 

 

Ten authentic replica Dublins set in June 16, 1904 have been built throughout  the Expatdom to allow millions and millions of Bloomsday celebrants to relive the events that day depicted in the novel Ulysses. 

 

One thousand boxing rings have also been set up to allow Wuxi Expats extracted from Ireland to engage in fisticuffs, donnybrooks, and family arguments.

 

Minister Eric Ruston Bellow Richler Saul Hemingway Waugh Blair, announced that to top off the celebration, Harry Moore has agreed to publish the sequel to the all-time best seller the Poolside Harry Moore on Bloomsday.  Already one billion copies of this second book of Moore's, Achillius have been pre-ordered.  Achillius, a novel, will chronicle the passage of Andis Kaulins through Wuxi during an ordinary day:  June 4, 2009   The novel's title alludes to Achilles the hero of Homer's Iliad.  The novel will establish a series of parallels between characters and events in ancient Troy and modern Wuxi, China.

 

Wuxi China Expatdom King Gorzo the Mighty gave his blessing to the Expatdom's Bloomsday plans.  Said Gorzo, "While Ulysses was never completely my cup of tea -- I prefer to curl up with a good story and clear prose like a murder mystery -- there were passages in the novel that were quite inventive.  So I do have that novel at my bedside along with the Holy Bible, Road to Serfdom, the Joys of Yiddish, the Cantos of Ezra Pound, Free to Choose, Black Mischief, and, of course, the Poolside Harry Moore.  Everyone knows that I am no cretin.  But, unfortunately, I have to hold as many celebrations as possible to counteract the mischievous and stenchy effects of holidays created by the former King of Wuxi, a.k.a. the Ayatollah of Mordor, who deemed it fit for the Expatdom to hold festivals to celebrate stealing candy from babies, not being nice to elephants, running over grandmothers, Dune Messiah, and rubbing your body with lard."

 

 Added Gorzo, "I look forward to attend a reading of Harry Moore's Achillius which is  sure to also outsell the Bible."