Monday, June 20, 2011

Wuxi Sexpats declare Andis Kaulins to be a heretic

In an unanimous motion passed at the Wuxi China Expatdom Sexpat Party Policy Convention, long-time Wuxi China Expat Andis Kaulins has been declared a heretic.  Wuxi Sexpats objected to the Expat and English Teacher's not going on a bachelor jaunt while his wife and son were away from Wuxi for two weeks.  The Expat's wife and son went to her parents place in the Beixin China Expat territory.
 
Said newly appointed Wuxi Sexpat Party leader Anthony Weiner, former U.S. congressman and now English Teacher, "Mister Kaulins is making a mockery of the point of men becoming a Wuxi Expat.  Foreigners come here to engage in sodomy, necrophilia, bestiality, relations with minors, and other lewd acts.  While his wife was away, Mister Kaulins should have been doing all this as well as satisfying his fetish for bridges, of which Wuxi has plenty.  But what does he do?  He stays home, watches some films, studies Chinese, and makes sure the house is clean for his wife and son's return.  Absolutely disgusting!  He should be burnt at the stake!"
 
The motion condemning Andis Kaulins as a heretic was the second time, the Wuxi China Expat from Canada had been declared a heretic by elements of the Wuxi China Expatdom.  Previously, Mister Kaulins was declared a heretic by the former King of Wuxi, aka the Ayatollah of Mordor, for declaring that governments were not immune from the laws of gravity and economics, and that choclate-covered caramel balls were not suppositories.

1 comment:

  1. Chief Inspector Harry CallahanJune 21, 2011 at 7:20 AM

    Andis Kaulins has no need to worry about this.
    I've recovered full use of both my arms now, and I'm just heading off now to the mean streets to deal with those Sexpat punks.
    I wouldn't want to be in those latter-day inquisitors size-9s when I collar them.

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