Charlton Heston inducted into The Wuxi China Expat Hall of Fame

Charlton Heston, former president of the Wuxi China Expatdom Rifle Association and the Moses of the early Wuxi China Expatdomites, has been inducted into the Wuxi China Expat Hall of Fame, announced WCEHOF commissioner Kennesaw "Hui Shan" Landis.

Landis cited two great accomplishments of Heston during the induction announcement: Heston's longtime and strong advocacy for gun rights for Wuxi China Expatdom residents, and Heston's role in the Exodus from the Ayatollah of Mordor where the waters of Taihu were parted.

Said Landis about Charlton Heston‘s time as WCERA president:

"One of the first things the Ayatollah of Mordor did during his tyrannical period as the King of Wuxi was to seize all the guns from the free Wuxi China Expatdomites. The WCERA was forced to go underground -- building secret shooting ranges; concealing firearms in their undershorts, and printing gun rights pamphlets that never failed to inflame the Mordorian regime. I would say that next to Gorzo the Mighty, it was my friend Chuck Heston who sounded loudest, the clarions of freedom during the dark times of the reign of the former King of Wuxi. Chuck was imprisoned several times and forced to watch grade "b" science fiction and horror films with the Ayatollah of Mordor because of his firm and never-wavering support for Wuxi Expat gun rights!

Heston, as we all know, as an infant was found floating in a basket floating down the Grand Canal by a Wuxi China Expatdom princess who decided to adopt him against the firm desires of the Ayatollah of Mordor who wanted all the original Wuxi China Expadomites to be expelled from the Expatdom and replaced by Mordorian Orcs and Grade "B" Science Fiction Fans. Heston found himself forced to live with people, who had they known who he was, would have wanted him gone and unfree. As it was, he was a slave, forced by the Ayatollah to think like a brain-dead Liberal Democrat.

But, Heston could not live the lie that his life had become. One day, as he was watching Starship Troopers on DVD, the player burned and he saw the image of Gorzo the Mighty speaking to him. Heston learned that the Ayatollah of Mordor was not his father. Heston also learned of his destiny to lead the Wuxi China Expatdomites away from the Expatdom towards Ma Shan to live in exile till the Ayatollah of Mordor was deposed.

After many bouts of prison and forced grade "b" science fiction watchings, Heston gathered the Expadomites to the shores of Taihu. They were going to catch the #88 bus to get to Ma Shan, but the Ayatollah of Mordor somehow found out about their plans. The Ayatollah sent his meanest ruffians, dressed as Klingons and Chocolate Caramel Balls, to subdue the fleeing Wuxi China Expatdomites. With the #88 bus nowhere to be seen, the fleeing Expatdomites had no choice but to ask Charlton Heston to reprise his role as Moses in the Ten Commandments, and part the waters of Taihu. Praying to Gorzo, Heston was able to do just that. And as a bonus, a special sidewalk was built so the Expadomites didn't get their shoes muddy. They got to Ma Shan in no time and, of course, the forces of the Ayatollah were drowned as they got halfway across the lake. Thus, was the great story of the parting of Taihu added to the annals of Expatdom history.

And of course, the promised land of the Wuxi China Expatdom was returned to its freedom loving Expatdomites! All Wuxi Expats owe a enormous debt of gratitude to Charlton Heston!"