WCE English teacher Duston Short created mayhem at Gambays' Pub last night.
When offered a (reduced-price) Lucky Strike by owner Fred Minkleman, the Ontarion Expat Short, declined. He said that he'd been a Marlboro-man since the age of six months, and that he'd neither fight nor switch -ever.
Bar patrons reacted by expressing their amazement, shock, dismay, incredulity,
disbelief, bewilderment, confusion, and flabbergastedness.
Fearful for Duston Short's health, sanity, and wellbeing, Fred Minkleman
instantly arranged for Short to be transported to the Expatdom's Skull And Brain Examination Clinic.
There, the specialist medical staff wasted no time in assessing Duston Short, and
investigating his astonishing failure to accept a Lucky Strike.
Senior clinician Dr Martin Boorman urgently ordered that Duston's head be X-rayed. Using 5 million radioactive rontgens, the X-rays failed to reveal any trace of gray matter.
Proceeding to a CAT-scan, Dr Boorman, gripping the struggling tomcat tightly,
rubbed the reluctant mouse-catcher all over Duston Short's cranium, but again nothing
was found inside.
Dr Boorman said that thus there were two options. Cranial surgery could be performed on Duston Short, and two dozen Lucky Strikes, - lit, dropped into Short's
empty cavity, as a means of inducing an insatiable craving for Lucky Strikes.
Dr Boorman said that the other option was to arrange for a brain transplant.
He said "there are dozens of available brains being carried around the Expatdom by their owners, many wastefully ossifying through total mental inactivity. We must have an unused donor-brain for this procedure, so we'll need to be very choosy".
"Let's think of someone suitable", he said.
Consulting his medical thesaurus, Dr Boorman paused in silent reflection, genuflection, concentration and meditation for several moments, then turned to his colleagues and asked if Harry Moore might be located in the vicinity.
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