Vasili Blokhin, a long-time Wuxi China Expat from Russia and the former chief interrogator for Joseph Stalin and the former King of Wuxi: the Ayatollah of Mordor, says he find it nigh impossible to get Lucky Strike smokers to switch brands. Says Blokhin: "It is easy to get Lucky Strike smokers to confess to the most fictional and ridiculous of crimes against the great leaders and to submit them to month long interrogations involving all sorts of mental and physical pain; but ask them to switch cigarette brands and they think it is an imposition!"
Ask him what it is about Lucky Striker cigarettes that makes the smokers thereof resistant to pain that would drive others mad, and Blokhin says that "Lucky Strike Cigarettes uses only the freshest hand-picked tobacco which results in a cigarette with better flavour."
Blokhin, who currently works as a doorman at the Chestnut Pub and as a sales rep for Camel cigarettes, says he might become a Lucky Strike smoker himself. "One time, I broke a Lucky Strike smoker's pelvis in seventeen places and he wouldn't switch to Camels! So surprised was I that I accidentally took a drag of one of his Lucky Strikes, and all I can say was MMMM! MMM! Mmmmm! What fresh and authentic flavour!"
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