"The similarities between the Wussie China Expatdom Blog & Ulysses are astounding and breath-taking. But if you contemplate the ways in which the WCE Blog exceeds Ulysses you will choke yourself. And if you don't mind me coining a new word, I will tell you that the exceedings of WCE over U, if you don't mind me creating acronyms, are infinite in that they are really uncountable, if you don't mind me using a word I learned in my English teaching..." said Ellemann, who teaches English at any school in the Wuxi China Expatdom that will have him.
Asked how Cowlinch's Blog, still being published daily, and Joyce's Novel, published in 1922, were similar, Ellemann said that he had a lot to say but that if the interviewer didn't mind, he would be brief but wear boxers while doing so. "Like Joyce had, Cowlinch has had and still has had his literary creation serialized. Like Joyce, Cowlinch bases the events in his bloggings on his life, he uses stream-of-consciousnesses techniques, he uses puns, he throws in references and characters from all sort of fiction works, and he bases his work on the Odyssey."
Then asked how Cowlinch's Blog exceeded Joyce's Novel, Ellemann lost his breath and had to be given mouth-to-mouth resuscitation by the Russian member of the Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Fire Brigade commanded by Marcus Linius Crassus. Crassus then had to give orders to his brigade to turn on the hoses to cool down a then over-excited Ellemann. Once in control of his faculties Ellemann, who asked if no one mind his fainting and hysterics, said "Cowlinch has written 450,000 words and still counting while Joyce wrote 265,000. The lexicon used by Joyce had 30,030 words while Cowlinch's, to date had 196,424 words. Cowlinch bases his bloggings not only on his life but on the life of thirty-five other people. Besides, using stream-of-consciousness techniques, Cowlinch has come up with other techniques like waterfalls-of-realization, creeks-of-credulousness, oceans-of-ridiculousness, lakes-of-tropes, clouds-of-unconsciousness, and the canal-of-id. Cowlinch additionally throws in references and characters from all sort of t.v. shows and movies that Joyce could not possibly have seen. And finally, he bases his work, not only on the Odyssey, but on the Iliad, the Aeneid the Koran, PD Wodehouse novels, Lawrence of Arabia, the Naked Gun movies, Strangers in a Strange Land, the novels of Evelyn Waugh, the favorite movies of Sir Archduke Harry Moore, the t.v. show Sledgehammer, the writings of David Warren, the bloggings of Andis Kaulins, the 1981-82 National Hockey League Media Guide, the September 1983 issue of Baseball Digest, the Farmer's Almanac of 1992, the 2009 issues of Wuxi Life, Gilligan's Island, the movies of Clint Eastwood, the movie Thunderball, the Confessions of Saint Augustine, the poems of WB. Yeats, the observations of GK Chesterton, the box-scores of the 1979 Montreal Expos season, the novels of Mordecai Richler, the humor of Stephen Leacock, Pascal's Pensees, the Joys of Yiddish, the Oxford Concise Dictionary, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Funk & Wagnall's Encyclopedia, the movies of Fred Astaire, and the 1981-82 Neelin High School Yearbook...."
Elleman again passed out and after being revived again, ended the interview by saying: "Of course, Cowlinch's Blog and Joyce's Novel are minor-league compared to the great work of prose and intimate photography: The Poolside Harry Moore. And if you got me talking about TPHM, they would have to take me to the #7 People's Hospital!"
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