Wuxi Expat has the apartment of his dreams

Thor Lyndon, a Wuxi Expat, has his apartment set up as he wants it.

"It is the apartment of my dreams!" says the 38 year old English teacher. "I have a big screen 3-D television in bed room. I have my play station. I have my comfortable bed in front of the television. I have my swing set set up, so that on either side of the television, there is pretty local girl in a bikini swinging and on call to satisfy any of my immediate craven desires. I also have helper monkeys to do the cooking and cleaning. Who can ask for anything more!"

It was at this point in the interview, that Acting Wuxi China Expatdom Chief Inspector Officer McNulty burst into the apartment and shouted "That's who could ask for anything more, you reprobate!" McNulty then administered his personal and idiosyncratic brand of retributive, parsimonious, equiponderant justice towards Lyndon. The girls in bikinis, being impressed with McNulty's virility, left with the officer.

Lyndon's helper monkeys were seen trying to pry two copies Fowler's English Usage from his forehead.