Tex Schram a Wuxi Expat from the U.S.A., has fallen in love with Wuxi's Hongdou Building, and wants to marry it.
Schram, a businessman, says it was love at first sight for him when he first laid his eyes on the 814 foot tall building in 2011. "Since then, I have been able to fondle, kiss, grope and caress all her 48 floors and her 136,218 square meters of floor space. I have run my toes over her glass, steel and concrete. It is my dream to one day be able to straddle her 92 foot tall spire." said Schram.
Schram told the WCE Blog that he had filed an application for a wedding license with the Wuxi China Expatdom Marriage Bureau.
Gabriel Conroy, spokesman for the WCE Marriage Bureau, says he may not be able to grant a wedding license to Schram. "The Hongdou Building belongs to the locals, and we would be infringing on their sovereignty if we permitted Schram to marry it." said Conroy in an exclusive interview with the WCE Blog.
Schram is the second Wuxi Expat to have announced a desire to marry a Wuxi, China skyscraper. Earlier this week, Irishmen Michael Furey announced his plans to marry the Moresky 360 Building.
Drinking Associates of Schram say he has threatened suicide if he cannot marry his dear, dear Hongdou.
The Wuxi China Expatdom is the only jurisdiction in the world to permit Human -- Inanimate Object marriage.
Oh, yet another blissful union here in our Expatdom! To Tex, the wonderful guy that he is, and his blushing Hongdou Building bride-to-be, naturally I wish them every happiness.
ReplyDeleteI envy them. Lately I've been 'making eyes' here at an aerosol spray-can (made in China) of cockroach-killer. So maybe, just maybe, I too might experience an Oriental-affaire d'amour.
(oops! I hope that English teacher Andis Kaulins doesn't correct my mixed-metaphor there. And also!, if Harry Moore spots that French terminology..gulp!)