Official Leader of the Wuxi China Expatdom Opposition tells media what he would do if he had a hammer

Iggy Poop, at a sparsely attended press conference held at the 10,000 seat Hans Zichman Memorial Banquet Hall in Gambay's Pub in the 1912 Bar District of Wuxi, said what he would do if he had a hammer.

The leader of the opposition Nudist Party said, "If I had a hammer, I would hammer in the morning, I would hammer in the evening, all over this Expatdom. I would hammer out a message. I would hammer out a warning. I would hammer about you and me and all my brothers and sisters all over this Expatdom! That's what I would do do do do!"