Wuxi China Expatdom MP sees nothing wrong with accepting money from North Korea

Wuxi China Sexpat member of parliament Eliot Spitzer says there is nothing wrong with accepting money from North Korea in order to spy on South Koreans, poison the Expatdom water supply, go on Wuxi China Expatdom billboard sites and attempt to silence critics of North Korean regime, kidnap children, assume elected position under false pretences, sleep with children, be tardy, smuggle weapons and chocolates, start a prostitution ring, voice blood libels against Gorzo the Mighty, wear polyester leisure suits, bribe Expatdom judges, fix football matches, place bombs in the parliament, distribute grade "b" science fiction and horror movies on DVD, and engage in acts of high, middle, and low-brow treason.

 

"Get off my back!" said  a defiant Spitzer when approached by media, "I am trying to live my life.  I am winning!  I have a job to do, and you guys aren't helping me to do it!  I have important legislation to work on.  I have a family to feed.  I resent the fact that I am being criticized.  Who made you judge and jury?  Are you perfect?  I have an uncle that is dying so you should cut me a little slack!  You guys are simply jealous!  I have causal sex every night!  Are you guys religious or something?  You wish you were in my shoes!  You hate people, like me, who can defy your loser morality!  Maybe you should try praising people.  You don't know what it is like to under appreciated!  If anything, most of you are mediocre so you are over appreciated! To be selfish is to love existence in the most intimate of ways!  I deserve a raise!  It is only my unselfishness that prevents me from going on strike!   Did I say I have an uncle dying?  I have a grandmother dying, too.  And the dog just peed on my I-Pad!  And the Norks aren't so bad. So, there you go!"

 

Gorzo the Mighty, King of the Wuxi Expatdom, credited Inspector Harry Callahan for uncovering Spitzer's treasonous connections.  Said Gorzo, "Commissioner Blakelock made Callahan turn in three badges during the investigation which goes to show you how intense the investigation was!"