Wuxi China Expat wants to marry the new Taihu Tunnel

Nigel Edmunds is in love.  And he insists that this love was a love at first sight.

Who is his love?  That is the wrong question.  One should ask:  What is his love?

Nigel, a lanky English Teacher who was formerly a gypsy, has fallen in love with the Taihu Tunnel.  The Tunnel which was recently completed runs along Taihu Avenue near the Auchang Supermarket.  Nigel happened to have a taxi take him through the tunnel last week and he became instantly smitten.  He now lives in the tunnel and doesn't care if the locals think it is strange for a foreigner to be a vagrant.  

He has proposed marriage to the tunnel, and is convinced it accepted the proposal.  Said Edmunds, "I asked the tunnel to say no if it didn't want to marry me, and it was silent.  That's proof enough for me."

He has applied to the Wuxi China Expatdom for a marriage license.  The Expatdom is the only jurisdiction in the world to all humans to marry inanimate objects.  However, Edmunds' application has raised some issues.  Larry M. Maker, the Expatdom's official marriage commissioner, says it is the first time that someone has tried to marry a public works project.  "The law enacted by the Wuxi China Expatdom parliament had nothing to say about humans marrying public works project.  The local government may object to us marrying off their roads and bridges to foreigners.  Edmunds' case may go all the way to the Wuxi China Expatdom Supreme Court unless parliament enacts a law clarifying the issue."