Said Patton: "The locals, to whom we supplied weapons to make the search a real challenge, put up stiffer resistance than we envisaged, which is of course to their credit. They repeatedly turned away armour assault after armour assault. We finally had to "shake and bake" them with white phosphorous and high explosive shells fired from the 155mm Cannons of the WCERLF 71 Battery, Major Winter commander. The artillery barrage proving successful, we were finally able to secure the major tunnels underneath train station with four corps of Queen Ayira Light Infantry. There are currently only scattered pockets of resistance in some minor tunnels. The area will be secure enough for the Wuxi China Expatdom Royal Navy, commanded by Admiral Lloyd Bridges, to try its hand at searching for the SBT!" (The WCERN has been given a few days to search for the SBT.)
Asked if the WCERLF had found any sign of the SBT, Patton admitted that he had forgotten about them till it was too late due to "the excitement of the good bloody battle."
The Commander of the Wuxi China Expatdom International Expeditionary Force, Karl Malden said Patton's forgetting about the search was understandable. Said Malden: "The WCERLF are fights and lovers; not real searchers. But you got to hand it to them for what they did militarily. They prevailed in a bloody fight. We salute the thirty that won't be with us anymore, as well as four thousand who got wounded. Military enthusiasts will be studying the battle that took place today for centuries to come, I'm sure!"
Malden was also pleased to announce that sales of Swedish Bikini Team Search 2011 memorabilia had gone over two billion yuan, and that the fighting in the tunnels below the train station didn't stop the trains above from running on time.
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