General McLuhan, the latest world intellectual superstar to come from the Wuxi China Expatdom School of Clear Thinking, says only four events of any significance have occurred in the last ten thousand or so years of human history. The first was the invention of clothing. The next was the invention of the written word. The third was the invention of the printing press. The fourth was King Gorzo the Mighty's ascension to the throne of the Wuxi China Expatdom.
The first three events said McLuhan narrowed man's perceptions and "ripped him asunder" from nature. "Man in his natural state had achieved a full kaleidoscope of perception in a garden of Eden. But he gave it all away for the sequential and linear. Man donned clothes and then went to a beatnik cafe. He gave up being in ten places at once to be one one line going straight to death and hell. And then he crowed against these laws of physics demanding his betters change them or die."
"That is why Gorzo being our king is so important. Gorzo is the great being of history. His ascension to the throne of the Wuxi China Expatdom and his subsequent reign have torn the laws of history to shreds. He has shown us all how we can transcend the bonds of clothing and the linear-sequential thought of the written word. Gorzo is the medium with the message!"
McLuhan, when he is not grand-theorizing, can be seen at many local pubs trying to convince bar girls that money is a bourgeois conceit. When he is not at the pub, McLuhan teaches English at Deceit International English (DIE).
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