First there was three. Then, there was another three. Now, there are over a thousand.
Every other Expatdom in China including the Kunming, Shangra-la, Hong Kong, Changsha, Lijian, Chong Qing, Tianjin, Tsingtao, Guangzhou, Shenzhen, Lhasa, Harbin, Xian, and the Dalian China Expatdoms have applied to become colonies of the Wuxi China Expatdom.
Leaders of the all these Chinese Expatdoms, arrived in Sunday in the Wuxi China Expatdom to submit their applications for colonial status to the King of the Wuxi China Expatdom his majesty King Gorzo the Mighty. Despite being told not to, many of the visiting leaders insisted on kow-towing to Gorzo as well as being able to kiss his feet. Eventually, fire hoses were brought out and used on the leaders to cool their ardor. Visiting leaders, not able to get into the hall to see his majesty, flocked to the grounds of the Wuxi China Expat Hall of Fame to clutch in a passionate manner many of the statues of Harry Moore, the president of the Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society. A few others went to the gift shop of the Wuxi Expat Rifle Association to buy ammunition, try on and purchase flack jackets, and marvel at the variety of firearms on sale.
The visiting leaders gave the assembled media a variety of reasons for wishing their Expatdoms to become Wuxi China Expatdom colonies. Some said their didn't have basic toilet facilities; some said their Expats had trouble with basic problem of personal cleanliness; some said their admired the Catholic feel of the Wuxi China Expatdom; some said they admired the WCE's libertarianism -- especially its gun rights which they said were the freest in the world; some said they admired all the great figures of the Wuxi China Expatdom like Harry Moore, Harry Callahan, Wally Droop, Fred & Frank Minklemen, WCERN Admiral Lloyd Bridges, WCERN Air Marshall Gregory Peck, Wuxi Expat Hall of Fame commissioner Kennesaw "Hui Shan" Landis, Prime Minister Mango, Wonder Woman, and WCE Poet Laureate Alfred Lord McClusky; some said they wanted to be part of a Naturist empire; some said they wanted access to the Wuxi China Expatdom Freeport -- the world's largest deep lake water port; some wanted the protection of the Wuxi China Expatdom's eight billion man military force; and others just wanted to just on the WCE bandwagon.
King Gorzo the Mighty said that all new colonies would be a lot of work for him, and he had no choice but to appoint Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society President Harry Moore the Wuxi China Expatdom Minister of Colonies. "Who else can I ask?" said his Majesty. "Everyone loves Harry and so every colony wants Harry to be their governor. Obviously, that can't be. So he can be in charge of all of them. I will retain the right, for me and Prime Minister Mango, to appoint governors for the individual colonies, subject to President and Minister Moore's approval. These governors, acting under the general guidelines set by President and Minister Moore, will administer the colony for which they are responsible. I have supreme confidence in Harry and I don't see that the important duties he performs as Wuxi China Expatdom Film Appreciation Society will in anyway be affected by his taking on this important new Wuxi China Expatdom Ministry."
President and now Minister Moore, who is currently on the Middle Eastern portion of his worldwide movie oration tour, has yet to make any public statements about his ministerial appointments.
Wooo-eee, every Expatdom - oh, the humanity!
ReplyDeleteBut down in Gambays, patrons have been struggling to grasp the implications of this.
The current topic was, apparently, raised by the Expatdom's military junta ("yoonta") of Admiral Lloyd Bridges, Air Marshall Gregory Peck, and Colonel Harlan B.Sanders. (Not exactly a yoonta as such, the Expatdom's government, and constitution, wouldn't allow that).
They've been wondering what might happen in the event that one WCE's colony was to initiate hostilities against another colony?
If, for example, the Nanjing Expatdom colonials were to invade and occupy, say, the Hefei Expatdom colon-y (though highly unlikely that anyone would), wouldn't the WCE's armed forces thus have to intervene? In which case, now that all the Expatdoms are in King Gorzo the Mighty's realm, couldn't that be a case of the WCE (technically) in conflict with itself?
The opposition Nudist Party is the only part of the Expatdom ruled by a Military Junta. Recall that former leader of the Nudist Party was ousted in an party military coup.
ReplyDeleteBy becoming a colony of the WCE, the colony relinquishes the right to have its own military or police forces.
Admiral Bridges, Air Marshall Peck, and Colonel Sanders are sending forces out to occupy the colonies.
I mean the former leader of the Nudist party
ReplyDelete