Friendly Wuxi Expat doesn't understand what's up with the French.

Guy Smiley, universally recognized as the nicest guy you ever want to meet in the Wuxi China Expatdom, said in an interview with the Wuxi China Expatdom Blog that he can't understand what is up with the French.  

Said Smiley:  "To me an asshole is someone who is sad because he can't smile!  He simply wants someone to gently pat him on the back and say how ya doing!  This tells you about my philosophy of dealing with people.  I have made the coldest of cucumbers open up and give me hugs and back-slaps.  I have brought jocularity to the saddest and most destitute places on the earth.  Heck, I have had Mother Teresa calling me all the time asking me to come out and cheer up the lowest of the low! And I flown out on my dime to help her!  As long as you have a heartbeat, I say you can be happy!  I haven't let the fact that I have erectile dysfunction and dyspepsia, and have had my artificial legs stolen from enjoying life! Heck, I was never happier in life as when I was poor, watched my mother die, had no toys, and my father was trying to kill me because he didn't like my joie-de-vie!"

But after saying this Smiley became dark like a sunny day hit with a thunderstorm coming in a million miles per hour.

Shrugging his shoulders, Smiley continued with his monologue and said:  "But the French!  They are a whole different can of worms.  In fact, they act like they are on a diet of worms and onion juice.  After bombarding them with my jocularity, I see they seem only to become darker and meaner.  I have had to pick up a few of them, especially the midgety and weaselly of them, to see if they got cucumbers stuck up their make-the-stomach-happy holes."