Friday, October 21, 2011

Chief Inspector Harry Callahan Declares War on Bus-Fare Evaders

The Wuxi China Expatdom's highest-ranking law-enforcement operative,
CI Harry Callahan, issued a press release today addressing the increasing numbers of Expats who are riding the Expatdom's buses, gratis.

The brief, but tersely-worded, media release was handed-out, in adherence to regulation compliance with all movie and television police dramas, - down at the station. Though it didn't specify whether this was the police station, or the railway station.

CI Callahan said that any further attempts at evasion would be dealt-with
severely, and personally, by him. "They, the felon's, MO - that means 'modus operandi' for all you civilians, a Latin expression meaning "Guilty!", is to ride the Expatdom's buses without swiping a fare-card".

"Now I know what you're all thinking", Callahan went on, "the Wuxi China Expatdom has an economy against which others pale into comparison. Our annual growth rate is 228,000% higher that the Expatdoms of Ningbo, Taizhou, and Suzhou, combined,
so what's the big deal?

"Well, you've gotta ask yourselves a question - do you want to slow-down the flow of our rivers of gold?". From today, I'll be riding the municipal buses, at random times, and on different routes.

"Any Expat I (here comes some more police-speak for you meat-headed punks) apprehend will be formally arraigned, and indicted, without a bail-surety, and then charged by the DA, on multiple counts of Grand-evasion, bus fare.

"After that will follow the court trial, and in compliance with accepted
jurisprudence, no objections will be sustained; witnesses will dutifully break-down, and become incontinent, whilst being mercilessly cross-examined; the judge will be the most cantankerous old man in the Expatdom, and, Henry Fonda will bring the other jury-members around to his line of thinking before reaching their verdict".

No comments:

Post a Comment